We have the service tomorrow. I would still be a wreck but this entire thing with her exhusband has turned into nothing but a nightmare (sorry, NOT “ex” because divorce was never finalized so he gets first say in all matters). Which has lead to a lot of sleepless nights and will continue to do so as I await the fate of her estate which is tied to my house.
One “pleasant” thing to come out of this was the dress she’ll wear. It was a dress that she picked up in Disney World. Not sure if I related the story in my trip report, but I guess now is as good a time as any…
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On our second trip in September, we were wheeling past BVG in the contemporary on our way to the hotel room and the dress caught mom’s eye from the thoroughfare. She asked quietly if we could go in and take a look at it and I, of course, agreed.
We wheeled over to it and she threaded the material through her fingers, feeling the texture of it. I helped the dress off the rack and put it into her lap to better inspect. I was rather taken aback by the sheer colors of it. Easily the brightest thing in the whole store and it screamed “Florida dress” in every fiber. After a few moments, she asked me how much it was and I searched out the price tag. $125 and I balked and silently pleaded that she not ask to get it. That’s a lot for a dress that she was never going to wear. Especially up here in Pennsylvania. Thankfully, she almost immediately put down the dress and shook her head “no, that’s too much.” And we proceeded on our way.
The next day (or day after, I forget which) we are once again passing by BVG, and once again the dress catches her eye. Like before, she asks me if we can go in and take a look. Reluctantly, but dutifully, I agreed and in we went to perform the same ritual as before. This time, however, she never asked the price and just felt the material, said “no” and then wanted to continue on after a few moments. She never even asked to have it taken off the rack for closer inspection. After she was done, we continued on our way.
The second to last day we were there (or there abouts), once more we find ourselves passing by BVG and once more mom’s eye is caught by the dress. Up until now, I thought mom was just looking for something to buy and it happened to be the thing she was “focused on” in the moment. She had done that last trip with the “Minnie shirt.” The substitutes she picked out she never wore, and basically we bought them to just buy souvenirs of Disney World, so I thought this was the same. But this was now the 3rd time, so now I’m thinking this is more than just “whimsical buying.”
She quietly asks once more if I could take her in to look at it. I smile and say “of course.” Once more, I wheel her over to the dress where she clutches the fabric and feels it. She begins making a face of someone who has determined something is not up to their standards and just says “ehh, I dunno.” Dismissively.
“Well, I do.” I say, grinning like an idiot. “What’s your size? You like “XL” right?” I pick up the XL sized dress and drop it into her lap. (She’s actually NOT an XL, but she has this thing where she thinks she wears XLs all the time. I intend to exchange if/when it won’t fit)
She immediately shakes her head and looks up at me from the chair “No, it’s too much money.” And tries to hand back the dress.
I shake my head and kneel down to her height, pushing the dress back to her lap. “Nuh-uh. Listen, this thing has pulled you in here three times. That’s more than just a passing fad here in Disney. We’re on vacation, you want the dress, we have the money… let’s get it.” And I stood up and wheeled her over to the counter as she said thank you.
I put the dress on to the counter to ring up and say loudly to the girl at the register: “I’d like to buy this dress… (there’s a phrase I didn’t think I was ever going to say).” It got the reaction I was looking for as the attentdent smiled and so did mom. With the annual pass, I was rewarded with a discount which brought the dress down to $100.
As we walked out of the Bay View Gifts, mom kept saying “thank you” and how “I didn’t have to do that.” I, in turn, reminded her that this dress caught her eye enough times to make this a good buy and I’m glad I could get it for her.
We reached the hotel room and I had her immediately try on the new garb and, much to my expectation, it didn’t fit. Like…waaaaay over sized. So I had her change back into her clothes and then while she took a nap, i ran back down to BVG and exchanged it out for a medium and brought it back up. Once mom woke up from her nap, she tried it on and it fit far better (I won’t say perfect because I’m not an expert on how dresses should fit on an old woman).
So once we were satisfied with the way it fit, she gave me a hug and said “thank you” again. I had her change out back into her normal clothes and we continued on the vacation.
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That was the only time she wore the dress. Once we were home, it was too cold to wear it, so there it sat in my closet. Then…well… not enough time was left. 
When the subject of what she was to wear for the service came up, no one had any answers. She hadn’t chose anything herself and my sibling and her two brothers are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine, so it was up to me. “I have one…maybe?” I said about as quietly as she did when she asked if we could go in that final time to look at the dress.
I was hesitant at first to suggest the dress. It was a vacation dress, after all. Once that was loud in color and one that she never wore except those 5 minutes in the room. Hardly appropriate for final resting clothes I feel her family would declare. Still… based on what I had just recounted above, I would like to think she would like to wear it. To add to it, my aunt donated a neutral gray Shaw that might pair well with the dress. After a truncated version of how she got the dress and a little bit of deciding on how it would look (it was tough not finding an image on the internet to show them) it was decided that she should wear the dress one more time.
I had to “review” her today to make sure everything looked good and I’m happy to say the dress and the Shaw ended up looking nice. Hopefully she’d be happy with it.
Tomorrow is going to suck. I’m caught between fear of losing everything and mourning my mom.
much Love 
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