Wait⌠but then my park will be free and clear. Yes. Tell them not to waste their time or visit Jafar.
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They have to catch me, I mean that person, firstâŚâŚ
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I can say with complete honesty that I have not done this. I can say that I have a very good college buddy that did this to back up my claim to my kids that marshmallows are made with mayonnaise.
ETA: Iâm referring to the Wiki. Obviously I would never admit to climbing the Mayan tower.
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I have asked multiple timesâŚand never get an answer. So I just chalk it up to mysterious charm now.
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Also, you have to wait for a table. And there are no Tator tots on the menu. I mean potato barrels.
And there is no view of fireworks. And it is incredibly expensive, no discounts (well, true: no TiW right now. damn you, Disney)
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Hereâs the thingâŚeven my worst enemy I hope has a good time at Disney.
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You arenât making the right kind of enemiesâŚ
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Donât go to Epcot. There are hardly any rides. Walking around World Showcase is so boring â who cares about other countries and their culture? And their food? Just donât go.
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Your kids will be so excited to be at Disney, they wonât need a nap or an afternoon break! My 3 and 1 year old did great the entire week with no naps and only Dole Whips and Churros to eat! We limited the Mickey Bars because, you know, sugar, but of course they could have those on occasion too.
I highly recommend Prince Charmingâs Carousel. It might look like a long line, but it moves really quick.
11-2 are the best hours to be in the park. Everyone is taking a lunch break and the sun is usually behind clouds, so you can catch some cooler weather and some shorter lines.
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OK now really, we all know that the Sacred Spaces are Disneyâs Special Promotional areas.
If you walk in there, you will have to sit thru extensive commercials promoting collectibles no child will want to walk away from despite honestly staggering costs even when you consider those fees are spread out as monthly membership payments⌠have you had a recent credit check?
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Donât use the mobile ordering. It always has longer waits than standing in the lines.
And the best foods are exactly what youâd expect at a theme park - the stuff that sounds like you could get it at your high school football stadium. They just donât have the ability to pull off the exotic sounding stuff at the table service restaurants.
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If youâre making a quick stop, itâs OK to leave your rain gear in the stroller, as the weather is unlikely to turn that quickly on you.
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(too soon? 
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Just barely getting to the point where I can laugh about it. 
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Fixed. Sorry, didnât want to damage my reputation as the resident Millennial.
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Lol. Pretty funny thread. Dean
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Is our pretend enemy not very bright ?
If the enemy IS fairly sensible my tips might look like this:
Save your money - get a vrbo house. We paid $800 for a week in a 5 bedroom with pool and game room out by Wilson Lake, just off 192.
192 is seldom congested. Itâs the fastest way to Disney.
The parks donât fill up right away. Youâll be ok if you leave your place about the time parks open.
Donât waste your money on parking at the lots for the parks. Parking is free at Disney Springs. You can get a bus there.
If a ride goes down, itâll be down all day.
You will need a reservation for sit down meals but donât worry. Theyâll seat you even if all your group is not there.
If you accidentally leave belongings stowed under the seat on a ride donât waste time going back to the exit. Contact lost and found.
Donât worry, Disney sells gum. They sell everything. Why do you think all the rides exit into a store.
Itâs Disney - all rides and attractions are kid friendly. Go to Ohio if you need real thrill rides.
RotR, Test Track, Soarin, Flight of Passage and Splash Mtn break down constantly. Donât waste your time in line for these.
The best place for the fireworks is in the park - then you can hear the music, too.
When the enemy completes the Disney fun and has questions about your tips: dadgum Disney - always changing things up without telling folks.
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Take your unsuspecting children on Tower of Terror without any warning or explanation. Therapy is incredibly cheap these days.
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And Flight of Passage. Tell them they can leave anytime â Disney would not dream of strapping young children in so they cannot move or leave. No problem. No screaming will ensue.
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None of the rides at Disney will bother your motion sickness. After all, theyâre safe for the whole family!
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All the so-called âcoastersâ at WDW suck and they always have long lines. Just skip them and go to UOR if you wan to ride a ârealâ coaster.
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