Struggling to cancel

I’ve been here before. Several times, actually. Even before COVID, thanks to other health reasons. It’s a very dark place: the moment before canceling a trip I’ve been thinking about constantly for months.

I’ve planned the perfect trip (heard that before, right?), but alas, it is doomed. 1% chance we will go. I should have canceled it weeks ago, but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m still tweaking my TPs and dropping everything (sometimes literally) to grab an ADR when I get a text from the Res Finder.

DW and I have been arguing about it for weeks. I want to go, she doesn’t. She wants to wait until she’s more comfortable traveling. I can’t blame her. We just have different risk tolerances. Maybe she will change her mind. Maybe this next week or two will be less stressful (we’ve had a few brutal ones leading into this week). But I think if I bring up Disney again she will shoot lasers out of her eyes and set my hair on fire. So probably no changed minds in this house…

Anyways, in a year full of grief, I’m now grieving again for yet another missed opportunity to visit “home”. Planning and fantasizing are my escape. But now that it is becoming more and more clear that it will stay a fantasy, I’m sad.

Maybe I will feel better after I cancel. I hope I do.

Anyways, sorry for the weird post. I do enjoy seeing everyone’s trip reports and reading all of the other stuff too, even though I’ve been more of a “lurker” since COVID. After canceling our April trip I pretty much checked out of the forum to preserve my sanity. But I think this time around I will stay to preserve my sanity. I miss home so much, I think I need this forum. Thank you everyone!


I’m sorry you have to cancel! Our family was supposed to be there now Dec 1-9 but had to cancel due to military telling son, 'You’re not allowed to take leave to FL!" My DH and I now live here locally and I have to basically go alone if I want some magic due to “risk tolerance”. My DH gets TOO stressed when we’re there and it spoils it for me… I sound so selfish. If I had to fly here though I wouldn’t be coming though and I couldn’t think of risking my DS and DiL. I wish I could say it will feel better after you cancel but it didn 't for me and now I"m thinking of my kids and being with them. I text w/ my DiL and we boohoo together that we’re not in the magic right now.

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When is your trip supposed to be? Maybe it’s not a cancel but a postponement? Maybe there’s a compromise… I can understand your wife’s feelings and maybe by spring she will feel better about it?

I cancelled twice this year was sad. I think what makes it worst is no real trip on the books! Just a guess if 2022 for it to be worth it fir us.

Glad your staying around!


So sorry to hear this! Cancelling is hard. I just cancelled the last vestige of my Disneyland trip that was supposed to be today (I realized that my flight didn’t get moved as I thought I had done - I was beyond the date that I can roll it forward so I had to cancel and lose the credits. Luckily just a couple hundred dollars.)

If I were you, I would pick a date when you think you and your wife will feel comfortable going, and reschedule so that you at least have a trip scheduled to look forward to! It will soften the blow.

When is your trip currently scheduled for? From what I’m reading, we could be close to reaching herd immunity by June, and even before then restrictions will be loosening surprisingly quickly as more and more people are immune (included those at high risk of death).


Jan 2-10, which is the one I’ll likely be canceling soon. I have backup trips on the books for Feb, March, and April. The likeliest is March. My AP expires the week after that so the April trip would be significantly more expensive. I think February will be the same issue as January - too uncomfortable for DW. But I’m hopeful that vaccinations will be sufficient by March for DW to be comfortable.


I’m also signed up to run Wine & Dine 2021 (November) for St Jude again, so I’ll be going then for sure if that event happens.

I know how you feel. Back in March when things closed, it took me two months to finally cancel our Christmas trip. Even though I knew there wouldn’t be any flights I just couldn’t do it. It would have been four years since we last came, it was DS’s 21st present. I was so disappointed for him, and it felt like a kick in the stomach when I did it.

Fast forward a couple of months and I was so glad I cancelled. Whilst people here were waiting for airlines to actually cancel flights so they could get refunds and so on, I was so relieved we already cancelled.

Your trip will happen, just not now. You don’t want this argument hanging over you both at Christmas. Take the plunge and then move on.


This sucks, so sorry to hear this.

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I miss “Home” too. I know I haven’t been here as much as I used to be, but I have kind of turned into a lurker as well. I love this forum and the people here, it’s just I have had other things in my life that have taken me away from being here. But, sooner or later, this thing will go away and we can return back to normal. And we will all get to go back “Home” without any worries.

On another note, I had a free preview weekend of HBO on Youtube TV this last weekend. I saw The Call of the Wild on Sunday night. For some reason, it kind of reminded me of being at Disney. I can’t pinpoint exactly why. I know it’s a Disney film, but that isn’t it. There are plenty of Disney films that don’t remind me of Disney World - Pirates of the Caribbean (yes, I know about the ride), Miracle, etc. Just something about this movie - maybe the resemblance to Tom Sawyer’s Island? I don’t know. But I know I got sad because I miss being there. And I can’t go back for quite some time. It will be at least another 5 -10 years before I get to go back.


Ouch! Expense? Or other reasons?

It does soften the blow to know that I will be going in the next 12-18 months. Maybe even in February or March. But I planned the PERFECT trip! I know I know, after I cancel and start planning February, it will become the perfect trip too. And when I cancel that one, the March trip will REALLY become the perfect trip, as it straddles DW’s birthday. Chance for some real magic there.

Thanks all for reading my ranting.


It isn’t expense. It’s that one of my daughters - the one with autism - doesn’t want to go and my wife wants to go to other places for some odd reason. She says there are more places to visit in the world than Disney World. So we will be going to some of those other places. This next summer, we are planning on going to Biltmore estates and then come back to Great Wolf Lodge for the kids.

It stinks because I know no vacation I will go on would be as enjoyable as WDW for me.


The Biltmore is pretty amazing. But there are no Mickey Waffles there. :frowning: After I commented above, I remembered that you had a daughter on the spectrum and suspected that was the reason. I still support Autism Speaks locally in the DFW area (I’m on the race planning committee for the 5k next year), but will probably stick with running for St Jude at Disney next year. We’ll see. There are so many good organizations to support it is hard to choose. But St Jude and Autism Speaks are close to my heart. Cheers friend.


Please know you are not alone! My year has been exactly the same. My next countdown just hit 365 days as of today - ugghhh… (I haven’t been to Orlando since May 2019)

I’d go today, even solo, if my DW was comfortable with me doing it. (I don’t need “permission”. I am just respectful of my partner’s wishes for her & my well being)

I’m doing a “fake” TP this week. I planned it all out & following along to see how accurate the TP would have been looking at the reported & posted wait times! I find that helps. It has definitely made my planning skills better! With all this practice I now make more realistic / accurate plans.

IME - Touring Plans averages a -81 minutes longer than they / my TP predicts each day. Again… I’ll never go to WDW / DLR / UOR with a personalized TP , but I’ve learned that you have to leave good amounts of unscheduled time & add in 10 – 15 minutes breaks every 90 minutes or so to be able to realistically accomplish all that I want.

I love this forum too… My subscription expires at the end of the month & I’ll renew just to be able to hang out here.


Oh! Biltmore. I don’t remember how old your girls are, but before you go, read the Seraphina series to them, if you think they’d like it.

We just finished it with my 12 and 8 year olds. One of the best series we’ve read lately, and it really makes them want to go to Biltmore. It’s a little intense and drama filled, but so descriptive and it’s actually realistic about the location.

NC has now moved much higher on our to-do list. Yay!


I’m so sorry you have to cancel. It physically hurt for me to cancel my “perfect” November trip but I am determined to plan a better trip for next time. I’m aiming for November of 2021. In my opinion it will naturally be better as the months pass because more things will open up, rides, restaurants, shows and maybe even fireworks. Its one of those things I feel are just worth waiting for. As a side note I checked the weather everyday in Orlando on the days in November I was supposed to be there. I believe it rained an entire day and 1/2. Also the day we had park reservations for HS, ROTR was down in the morning so it made me feel a little better.



So sorry to hear you are bummed. Like so many others, I have also cancelled and rescheduled trips. It is tough.

I had a difficult time cancelling my October trip and then an even harder time the week of the trip.

As much as I like you and want to take your side, I think in this situation you have to gracefully cede this one to your wife. Even if she caves and says she is ok with going, how will your family be able to enjoy a WDW trip if your wife fears for her safety and your children’s safety? Maybe she will agree to a deal where you take an “extra” trip once she feels safe again to make up for the trip that was missed. Or maybe one trip but load upon extras (maybe VIP Tour??) with the funds you would have used for the missed trip. My family typically goes to WDW once a year, but my wife has agreed to 2 trips a year during 2021 or 2022 depending on when we all feel safe at WDW.


Lol. I’ll be rooting for ROTR to be down on January 6. That will make my day



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Hugs Jordan.

It’s just no fun at all.

I think your wife has the right idea though.

Stick around here. It helps a lot most of the time (when it’s not breaking your heart).


I’m so sorry. That’s rough. I have to say that I felt so much safer at WDW than I do at stores and stuff where I live. Disney does it right.