ok y’all, I am sure only the folks on this board can relate to my distress… and excitement. In late January we took our first trip to WDW… 8 full days! Me, DH, DS10, DS6… it was fantastic! and we all LOVED it!! DH was completely anti-disney and before we finished our trip he was already talking up “the next time, the next time” and was a master at grab and modify for FPPs!!! well, DH is adamant that we go to Disney for our 18th Anniversary… WITHOUT the kids… he wants to experience the parks, magic, and coasters TOGETHER… (we each would sit with a kid on our first trip) ohhhhhhh the guilt… and excitement… at least twice a week the boys ask “when are we going back?” or “man I wish we were at Disney”… DH & I knew we would take them back… DH said that he wouldn’t MAKE (hahahah) me do an Adults Only Disney Trip without soothing my soul (and nerves) and setting a date to return with the boys… so, we are taking them back Mardi Gras 2020… however, our anniversary is November 10, 2019 … and I just booked us a 5 day trip for October… MNSSHP… I love halloween!! EEEKKKKK… BUT, I have such awful, heavy guilt… not only because I know my kids will be heartbroken that we are going to WDW without them… but we’ve not gone on an adults vacation in the years since we have had kids; we have always done family vacations… i’m nervous and excited, and burden with such guilt. My Heather side is sooooo pumped; my Mom side is feeling sooo terrible about going somewhere they love - without them… Y’all I must be certifiably crazy!! Yet, I am soooo happy to have DH converted to a Disney Fan! YAY!!! Anyone ever feel this same way? I know my kids will be fine… i just have to convince myself ha! thank’s y’all for reading and “listening” to me be crazy!
A conundrum…a good one, but still a conundrum. How many days have you looked after each child? So how much have you ‘worked’ for each minute of your adult only WDW holiday? Seriously, I hope that you enjoy both your trips.
Why tell them? My wife and I did a trip to Universal three years ago and didn’t tell the kids. We told them we were going to Florida. Granted, they were 8 and 3 at the time, so they didn’t ask many questions or really care about us going on a trip without them.
I have looked after DS10 roughly 3,937 days and about 2,375 days for DS6! Sure, I work full time, but they are the other half of my world!
Why tell them is Exactly what DH says!!! hahahha!!!
I am not a mathematician but if you add those up and divide them into your 5 days, I think you are ‘underpaid’.
You sound exactly like us! We did our first trip with the kids last spring and fell in love! We are going again with the kids this summer. But in the meantime we went back in October just the two of us for my birthday weekend. We focused mainly on The Food and Wine Festival, and that’s what we told our kids and everyone else we were mostly doing. But of course we did days at AK and MK as well. We loved experiencing it just the two of us and riding rides together! I felt guilty at first too, but it was really fine! We only did three nights, but we definitely plan to do it again! Go and enjoy yourselves!
I understand the guilt, but parents need to spend time together and not always with the children. It’s good for your marriage.
I do not suffer this affliction
We are doing our 25th anniversary trip to Disney in December, 2020. To alleviate the guilt of leaving our kids home alone during this time, we did the only reasonable thing we could do: we planned a trip for the whole family May, 2020!
Lose the guilt my friend. you Need this for your marriage. just do it…if you think the kids will be upset, then i guess don’t tell them…but i would take the trip and be honest and tell them. this is only my stinky opinion. as a kid i may be more upset my parents hid the truth
I am traveling from the SF area to join my 19yoDD on a girls’ trip to WDW in May to celebrate the end of her sophomore year at Univ. of Alabama. I love exploring the southeastern part of the U.S, and it’s a good excuse for a 2nd visit to WDW. However, I feel a bit sad that my 16yoDS can’t come because he still has 3 weeks of high school. I try not to talk too much about our trip plans, but I want to share my excitement. It’s hard to hold back at times. He doesn’t seem to bothered about it since as a late teen, it’s more about time with his friends than any thing else, but I still have a bit of mom’s guilt!
Right there with you! We took the kids in March 2016 and November 2018. The trip in November was actually for our 20th anniversary, but because of some health issues in the extended family there was no one who could watch the kids while DH and I got away by ourselves. So this November we’re going for an adults only trip. The kids will be 16, 13, and 10 when DH and I go. My oldest will be just as happy to stay home, but I think my 13 and 10 year olds will be a little crushed that we’re going to Disney without them. I’m not feeling guilty enough to cancel, but I’m dreading telling them. (And we are going to tell them–it would feel dishonest not to, and I’d worry about us slipping or them seeing photos after the trip and figuring it out.) Our 3-night trip is the first real vacation we’ve ever taken without them. We’ve done 1-2 nights in a hotel close to home and we’ve gone to a few conferences about DS’s genetic disorder, but this is the first time we’re flying someplace just for fun without them.
First of all, I am so jealous that your DH converted! We went in January 2018 and February of this year and are currently looking at becoming DVC members but it’s all my crazy. DH actually said “I can’t imagine coming here without the kids.” this past trip and I tried to stay cool but inside I was all .
Secondly, girl!!! I totally understand the guilt component but it’s due time for you and DH to take that time to just remember why you like one another! And how exciting to be able to do that at WDW!
My MIL gave me a piece of advice that her MIL had given her. Never forget that he is your husband first and you are his wife. After that, you are dad and mom. But if you put your relationship first, all the rest will fall into place.
So, he wants to take you on a romantic trip Disney style. Do it. The kids need to see you two doing couple things. And your DH needs to know you want to share some of your time with just him sometimes, just as I’m sure you’re happy that he wants you all to himself on occasion.
Just save a few things to do with the kids. Tell them you didn’t want to do their favourite without them, so you saved it for the next trip. That will make them feel special.
Enjoy your trip.
“why tell them?” Because they will find out, and they will remember you lied to them, and they will use it against you when they are teenagers, adults, and when they are bringing you to Shady Pines Rest Home.
Totally agree with this.
And the fact is, a husband and wife will spend the rest of their lives together. The kids only stick around for a short while. Which means it shouldn’t be all about the kids. It is more important to make your marriage about your marriage than it is about making it about your kids. Otherwise, when the kids leave, you might have forgotten you still have a spouse you have another 25+ years with!
My wife and I frequently have to re-remind ourselves that our conversations need to NOT just be focused on the kids. It needs to be about US, first and foremost. It is easy to get lost in the day-to-day.
A trip to Disney together, without the kids, even at the kids’ behest, is awesome. And despite the fact the kids might be bummed about not going, they will secretly learn from you the importance of investing in each other as a couple and carry that within them into their own eventual marriages.
I feel your pain here!!! My sister and I are going on a trip BY OURSELVES in 4 weeks. Leaving my kids at home with DH since he is not a true fan after our trip last year. I pondered not telling the kids at all (they are 12 and 9), and tried to lie and tell them we were going to Miami instead. But in the end, the guilt of not telling them the truth ate at me. I confessed that we were going to Disney about two weeks ago, and surprisingly, they took it well. I think it helped that I re-assured them they still get a family vacation this year, which will include a theme park they have never been to. I talked up that vacation enough to make it sound more exciting than somewhere they’ve already been. In the end, I feel so much better knowing that they know the truth, and they can’t hold it against me later for lying.
Thank you all so very much!!! we are super excited about Disney, and I fully intend to be honest with the kids about where we are going! I am sure, once I clear the air, I will begin to feel much better!! My Heather side is so super duper pumped! I know the kids will be just fine and will get over the initial “shock” that we are going without them! especially with a pre-planned trip on their horizon. DH and I invested much of our time into the kids and we have really started to re-focus on one another this last year. I am so thankful for all of you, the tips, advice, and listening “ears”! I love stalking this board and learning from you all!