Do you ever get to a point in planning where you feel overwhelmed and ready to just not do the trip? I’m at that point. DH & DD were just giving me a hard time about RD (“can we just use normal language and call it opening?”). “WHAT time do we need to get there by??? We’ll just let mommy use the bus and meet up with her later.” I’m ready to throw in the towel. Every time I think I’ve got something planned, they pull the rug out from under the plan. Feeling very discouraged. DH says I can plan, it then when I do, it’s questioned, as if I couldn’t possibly know what I’m talking about and I have to go back to the drawing board (this is after trying to continually keep them abreast of the plans).
So, I guess it’s back to the drawing board for me, but I am getting the sense this trip is going to be a disappointment. I was overruled about a rest day in the middle of our trip. Planning for afternoon breaks has gotten flack, and now, I guess they are saying they don’t want to RD. I already know none of us like late nights…why are we spending all this money???
I guess m not so much looking for help, although any insight is welcome, but thanks for letting me vent.
Also, note, we are going during Spring break. I thought we were all awear that this was going to be CROWDED! DH seems to think I’m over stating the crowded-ness factor. How do I convince him of this??
{{{{hugs}}}} Vent away. Oh, very sorry. That does make planning the trip harder. DH has made me change plans, too, but not to that extent. I did rally for a rest day and actually got it. Then he complained about the afternoon breaks being so long, or too late in the day, then complained that weren’t breaks on a couple of days. Whatever. It will all work out.
huge hugs to you! I have days like that too because I am the only planner. It bums me out if they are not excited about something that I think would be great to add in. Sometimes it does help keep my planning in check though realizing that some of this is really just important to me. So that is exactly why I have a solo trip planned for Feb! Then when I cut things out of the family trip I think of how I will do them on my trip!
For this trip, I am trying to plan for them in terms of how I think they enjoy touring instead of planning to do everything I think they would like to do. If that makes any sense. Last time I tried to fit in so many fun things but it was too much. Before the end of the trip I was canceling chunks of days just so we could have more down time. So this time we will end up doing less but I think they will all be happier. And we have multiple sleep in days during our short trip because they like to sleep in. They are still asleep right now! Except for DS11. Last time he and I went off on our own and hit HS at RD and it was the best morning ever! Everyone else slept in and were happy to meet us later.
Wow, I’m so sorry! This should be a fun & exciting time and its turned into a chore, or worse.
They don’t understand how all your planning is really going to help them. You can’t change that. So don’t give them the opportunity to criticize- don’t involve them in planning outside of simple choices- “Scifi Diner or Brown Derby, guys?”. You know them well enough to plan a great day. @kjsprouse_577366 gave you great advice for that.
Sadly that also means you can’t share your plans with them, but you have this forum for that! 
Do not attempt to convince DH of anything. He’ll see when you get there how crowded it is. I’d probably plan for rest half-day anyway, at least have it up my sleeve.
My family learned mom knows best after we floundered before I found TP and similar sites, and the difference was so dramatic. You could let that work for you, too. If they don’t want to get up early, let them amble into the park at 10 am and they’ll find out what that means. Don’t take rest breaks that first day, either. Do it their way. Seriously, it may ruin one day but it may save the rest of their trip.
Then sweetly and with no I-told-you-so (
- that’ll be hard to do! But essential 
), that evening suggest that they follow a plan for the rest of the trip.
I guess I don’t want them to be upset with you the whole trip because you’re making them do things they don’t want to do simply because they don’t understand. So let Disney itself teach them. Once they get it, you can step in and help them have a great time!
I met some resistance so I changed my use of the touring plan… so the family didn’t feel scheduled. We stuck pretty close but if we were passing a ride with no wait and they wanted to ride, we did! Ended up doing even more then my plan but Intried to make it more relaxed feel…
Maybe let them do it their way on the first day. Plan nothing, contribute nothing. …just tag along. See how long they last😉. I am sure that by the second day, maybe even first afternoon they will surrender and plead for your plans. … which you will have up your sleeve of course.
Yep, I suggest what a few others have already stated. Just go along with the loosey goosey stroll and ride for one day (or less )and then see if they’re more open to a plan. They will likely complain about crowds and lines, and then you can, as said before, “gently suggest” you all try a more structured plan.
This worked for me during Christmas 2015 and it was very difficult to bite my tongue and not complain or say “I told you so” but, after a rough day of crowds and very few rides ridden, my family came around.
That said, keep your plans basic and be willing to be flexible along the way. I also learned that too many early mornings for my crew isn’t a good thing, so I dont recommend RD everyday.
We have a family of 6 and are also going during spring break. My DH will do anything whenever–he enjoys going to Disney but he doesn’t care at all about the specifics of when and where (as long as Everest, FOP, and MS are on the plans). I also have 2 teens, a DD who is hard to wake up in the am, and a son who gets up at the crack of dawn but can’t make it past 9 pm. So, I feel a little bit of your pain in difficulty planning. I think we may even be going at the same time @Kkerr76 (end of March), I feel like we found that out on another thread.
Maybe have a family meeting before FPP selection day and put the TPs on the table literally with and without RD, breaks, etc. and show them what they can do. Maybe 3 FPPs, a show, dinner and FW is all they want to make them happy or maybe they will see the all-knowing “computer program” TP and choose RD and sticking to a plan. Letting them wing it for a day may or may not work IMO. I prefer a pre-vacation buy-in negotiation strategy. Good luck.
Have you been before using TPs? My family has gone along with my TPs for several trips and loved zigging when everyone zagged. But now 2 are teens and all of a sudden I know nothing. I’m lucky in that I have 4-5 people who will go with my TPs (assuming only 1 teen revolts at a time ) To make the lazing, screen junkie teens happier, I’ve scheduled a full resort day with dinner at DS, two sleep in mornings leaving for parks at noon, and 1 RD day for parents and littles while teens sleep all day until we take an afternoon break. In general, I will screen shot our plans and let them join when they want with knowledge of what they will miss if they choose to sleep or eat a “real breakfast” instead. I am hoping my plans have taken everyone into account. Hopefully everyone will be happier this way knowing that I tried and giving the teens the option to bail if we’ve had too much together time.
I like the idea of putting the TPs on the table and have them decide how they really want to tour. It’s been 6 years since we’ve done a full week Disney trip-DH and I have done food & wine fest a few times since. Magic bands were brand new when we went last and DD was 4, so it was a very different trip. I’ve been using the Unofficial Guide and their plans for all of our trips, but we have always been able to go at less crowded times of the year.
I think we are dealing with a couple of things-I was hesitant to do spring break in the first place, but have felt better with the idea of touring early in the am, resort rest/play time during the busy part of the day, back to the park for dinner/fireworks/a couple of rides. I’ve also thought we’d have a couple day we did morning to whenever we felt done. But maybe I should just see what they really think the trip is going to look like. I don’t think the “let them try it their way” will work. Our first day is either going to be MK or E (everything is in flux!). If it’s Epcot-for what we like, we don’t need much of a plan, if it’s MK…on a Saturday, without a plan? Lol, that sounds awful and I think would end with everyone just being a grumpy mess. I’m trying to avoid that as much as possible!
Yes I agree with the putting the plans on the table and seeing what everyone is up for before FP day is a great advice. Winging it may work but will also most likely make everyone grumpy including you!
Good luck with planning it all. In the end whatever you come up with is going to be fun. You are in WDW so it has to be! I think it only becomes not fun when people are being forced into keeping up with a pace that they are too tired to do.
I’m not sure how hot it will be that time of year. So when you are all talking about it, you may want to remind them that on hot days getting up for RD or close to it anyway may truly be worth it. Then they get rewarded by hanging out in the pool during the hottest part of the day. Maybe a few days follow that plan and then other days have later starts or early nights. Mixing it up maybe something your crew can agree on!
I also try to keep my planning questions to small doses for my family. I of course could talk about it all of the time but I choose to go on here instead and save my family who don’t really want to hear about Disney on a daily basis!
We are DLR regulars and I was planning a trip for us to WDW last year. 2months before the trip it all fell apart and we were not able to go. I was the only one truly devastated. So instead of planning a trip for the entire family, I am planning a solo trip. It is so liberating to plan for just myself! And so cheap! Now I can do the dessert parties, Magic mornings and after hours parties and only pay for one instead of 4.
Vent away, as that sounds very frustrating. I plan for our trips to Disney, as my DH left me to it for our first trip. I told him if he doesn’t help, he does not get to complain. I ask my family’s opinions before I do any heavy planning and after that, what I say pretty much goes. We are flexible when in the parks, but the major stuff we do is all part of the plan I came up with based on everyone’s original suggestions. It works for us. I agree that maybe giving them different touring plan options may help. And if they don’t want to rope drop, then go ahead by yourself and have them meet you when they are ready to go to the park.
I would start with telling them that I do expect kindness since I am trying to create a great family experience. The old " if you can’t say anything nice" rule applies.
As many have stated, this is what we’re here for! My family (extended) and husband don’t understand my need to plan, but I often remind them that Disney is a great big mess of things to do. If they want to be able to debate how to manage it, they will have to start reading, researching, and learning. Otherwise, they are going to need to rely on my best advice.
Just an idea - maybe you can get DH into it in another way (if he’s into the idea of the trip, but not the research/planning). For example, I find the Dis Best & Worst podcast hilarious. Plus there is a fair bit of information in there with their funny debates. There are some great YouTube channels of reviews and strategies as well. Depending on DD age, she might enjoy too.
I’ll share sympathy, but unfortunately cannot give you any advice. DW has virtually NO interest in the planning phase, but accepts that any plan I come up with will be “the best of all possible plans”. Of course, after nearly 27 years of marriage, I pretty much know what she likes and dislikes…
I didn’t read the responses up above ( i need to state that) but I feel your pain. i am the “overplanner” in the family and everyone moans over my commando touring. But I only put them through this at Disney.
Here’s my take:
- The planning is learning. You are finding out details and tips about things that you wouldn’t know otherwise. Even if you don’t do everything you plan, you benefit from knowing the things you know from planning.
- Having a plan is good. Throwing it into the wind and winging it it OK too. The plan can be relabeled as “the back up plan”. You are there with the plan to save the day if everybody 's jaw drops and they say “this is sooo overwhelming” .
- If your plan included booked events (meals, shows, whatever), still go for it. You can still always drop things you booked (most of them anyway without cost) but your family will thank you for the unique things they experience because of your plan.
- I plan to be there at 1 hour before park opening and stay until every minute is squeezed out of the day. How often has my “plan” happened? Maybe 10% of the time. But my family wou;ldn;t even know about early morning and late nights if not for my superior extraordinary planning abilities!
- Don’t be discouraged. Maybe back off on a few things you are planning. But what you are doing will be appreciated once you are there.
Yes #1!!! I meant to mention that in mine. There were so many times in my last trip where we ended up off plan for one reason or another, but it was fine and all still went smoothly because I had learned so much during the planning process.
I planned 2 trips over Easter week. One with hubby and kiddo, the other with me/my mom/kiddo/my brother. Both trips had people concerned with my level of planning. But then, they were grateful. Disney has changed a lot. Meandering with no plan, no dining, etc. Isnt really an.option. Characters don’t roam the park, good dining books early, and spontaneous events are rare. Although my mom liked “old Disney” she had a great time and appreciated all the plans. However, I always explained to them that a plan is a plan…not set I’m stone. We always did rd and rode important rides first when lines were short. We watched lines for good wait times. We did have a good amount of let’s stop for this or do.this instead…not sorry but the plan says. Make detailed plans, do.all the research but day of be flexible and let the magic take over.
I’m sorry you’re feeling so frustrated! Planning for Disney is complicated and time consuming and all you want is for everyone to be happy and enjoy themselves. For our 2017 trip I agreed to “not plan” because my kids and husband were fatigued with FPP and dining reservations and generally being told what to do. They wanted to be spontaneous. I let them have it their way and didn’t even plan as a backup. I made the super hard FPP, but that’s it. We wandered aimlessly, and said “what next?” at least 10,000 times. It wasn’t awful and the world didn’t end. When it was time for the next trip, my DS21 specifically requested that I plan. Maybe try explaining that you’re not trying to be a tyrant, but you want everyone to have fun. Watch the Disney planning videos together so they can see how much there is to do (potentially). Ask them what they hope for the trip, whether it’s specific rides, characters, pool/water park or other experiences. Accidentally we tend to do themes — one trip was all about thrill rides, another was characters. We also did hidden mickeys, and signature dining and tours. Good luck!