No vacation with toddlers is relaxing! What is relaxing is leaving them home with grandma & going on a trip with your spouse ha!
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Hi, I’m similar in age to your DIL, though not sure if that makes a difference. I also have a 2.5 and 5 year old and am typically the disney planner. She is probably stressed about the unknown both for WDW, traveling with family, and traveling with a 1.5 year old. Good news, 1.5 at disney is the best. They love everything. If I was in your DIL position I would like info on fast paces and adrs books and just reassurance of, " hey, we would like to do these things with you but don’t feel like we have to spend every minute together." If you dont have a fp right away stating, “we are going to go ___do you want to come too or should we just plan to meet up for lunch?” Offering to hold the stroller so she can navigate the bathroom alone is big or even seeing if she would like you to wait with baby so she can go on a ride with her husband. I’m not sure how often you watch your granddaughter, if it isn’t often I wouldn’t necessarily assume your DIL would want a date night. Being in another state and having someone watch baby whom usually doesn’t (even if they are family) could be stressful. The first day will probably be stressful until everyone finds their groove, but it will get better.
There’s a reason they say, “there are no vacations with small children, only trips.”
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It would never be a vacation for me without my kids.
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I love taking alone trips. It’s a different kind of vacation.
How was your trip?
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We called it “taking the show on the road.”
The trip was great. There were challenges, but all generated from my general absent-mindedness and lack of travel experience, rather than any group dynamics. And one of our group got pretty sick with a cold for part of the time we were there. But the family time was nice, we had fun, the grand-daughter had a good time, and overall the trip was a success. I’d write a trip report, but it would be about the length of the Unofficial Guide. 
All that being said, as native Southern Californians, we’ve decided we prefer Disneyland/CA Adventure. I’m afraid we’re spoiled by Disneyland… the sheer amount of work it takes to get into Magic Kingdom in Orlando (especially with the entrance construction going on) made us appreciated CA where you can stay off-site if you want, and still walk into either park relatively easily.
But that’s just a grumpy old man talking.
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Glad you and family had a good time. There’s always going to be challenges, but sounds like you made the most of it