I just got my Kindle version of the Unofficial Guide to DC, and while I am enjoying Len’s latest efforts towards ensuring Touring Plans’ global domination, I can’t help but feel that there are some things missing in the 2016 edition. Some modest proposals for next year:
Small child fright potential chart, listing members of Congress in order from mildly unnerving to downright terrifying.
Tours That Eat Adults: Better take a couple of Dramamine before heading to the Bureau of Engraving & Printing, pal. It’s a doozy.
DC Dish with Jim Hill. “Original plans for the Lincoln Memorial actually called for an ambitious dark ride, which would have taken visitors by replica horse-drawn carriage through over a dozen pivotal moments in the life of our 16th President. However, budget constraints and furious backroom lobbying by the famous sculptor Daniel Chester French prompted an 11th hour redesign just before groundbreaking, resulting in the monument we know today.”
Whimsical illustrations of stereotypical DC tourists parting with their money in their natural habitat, by Chris Eliopoulos.
The Importance of Being Gerald.
Lastly, I think it goes without saying that DC deserves its own Lines app and personalized, customizable-on-the-fly Touring Plans. Granted, with all the variables involved in visiting DC, you’d probably need to rent supercomputer time from CERN to optimize my itinerary, but isn’t my vacation more important than some silly hadron collider unlocking the secrets of the universe? I certainly think so.
Thank you for your consideration.
