At 5ft 8, I am the titch in my family. So flying from the UK we always go for two in front, 2 behind, both on the aisle.That way I and younger DS sit in front, so that DH and older DS are not crippled by reclining seats.
When they were younger we would often do across the aisle. Sometimes I would move to be between them to stop the squabbling. And DH and I would swap over to allow opposite legs to stretch However sounds like 2 and 2 would work best for you. You can swap around to sit with DH, but still be able to separate the kids when necessary. If they’re not used to flying then have each one sit with an adult for take off and landing.
Make sure each one has a small bag with games console, phone and snacks etc to minimise passing of stuff around.
Oh and btw, I always have and always will pack one carry on bag with a change of clothes plus swim wear for everyone plus overnight toiletries, stuff it in the overhead locker and forget about it. Helps in case a case goes missing, you can start your holiday the next day w/o washing everything out! We’ve had cases not make it to Orlando, I’ve had a case not make it to HK before.