I’ve never had a long enough wait to notice they had a posted wait time!
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You people should be forced to use the international arrivals hall.
I was literally the first person off my flight in December. I waited an hour and a half. There were families with young children who — after a nine hour flight that landed at about 8pm UK time — waited three hours. In a windowless, featureless hall. No access to food or water, unless you bring your own. Mobile phone use banned.
A flight carrying maybe $500,000 worth of tourist dollars. What a welcome.
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We have to make sure you don’t bring anything dangerous like an apple…or public healthcare. 
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@ryan1 Honestly short flights aren’t bad regardless of the airline or airport. You really only need to worry about which airline you take with long hauls. With layovers just make sure you have at least an hour. Take things to read or watch. Don’t forget headphones. Bring your own food and an empty water bottle to fill at the airport. Don’t eat broccoli or other gas producing foods 
. Hope you have a good flight!
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Ah. Now we’re getting down to the truly practical advice!
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Although there are of course many reasons I am sad DH isn’t coming with us this year, being escorted straight to the front of the security line (him being pushed in a wheelchair) and skipping straight through is pretty high on the list. We were last off the plane because you have to wait to be collected with said wheelchair and the line was so long I wanted to cry, I thought we’d be sleeping there. I could have kissed the guy who led us past it.
So you’re saying that if I break my own leg — as in Escape to Victory — there’s a chance I’ll get taken straight to the front of the line?
Hmm. Might be worth it.
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Do you actually need a doctor’s note, or can you call ahead and show up in a wheelchair? I know healthcare is free for you, but you don’t have to get crazy about it!
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Oh — you mean fake an injury. And then walk off Kevin Spacey style as soon as I’m on the other side of passport control.
Good plan.
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Well, you could, but once you’re in the wheelchair, you might as well let them push you all the way to DME. Save your legs for the parks.
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Actually, that’s a very good point. It’s a really long way.
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Here is a summary of what I’ve learned so far:
- Spirit airline seats are very tight and uncomfortable, so avoid flying with them.
- All other airline seats (in economy) are very tight and uncomfortable, but they offer other creature comforts at a higher price point.
- That higher price point includes WIFI availability.
- WIFI availability doesn’t mean you can actually use the WIFI, however, without paying more.
- Other airlines may not fly direct, but Spirit does.
- Spirit only allows a “personal item” for free, but you must pay for a carry-on or checked luggage.
- United allows a carry-on AND a personal item…but the size of the personal item for United is actually smaller than the size Spirit allows.
- Even though United allows a carry-on at “no additional charge”, it doesn’t mean you will actually be able to use the overhead bins to stash your carry-on in, so it is advisable just to bring a personal item instead (which, as mentioned above, means you actually are paying MORE for United so that you can carry LESS on the plane since the United personal item is smaller in size)
- Don’t eat broccoli.
- Make sure your layover is more than an hour.
- Spirit has no layover, United does, which means you get the advantage with United of visiting TWO airports for one low price.
- Bring headphones on the plane, and crank up the music loud enough to drown out the engine noise to prevent hearing loss.
- Sit in an aisle seat.
- Be ready for being strip searched by TSA
- Get to the airport early to allow time for being strip searched.
- Eat before you board the plane
- Regardless of all the advantages/disadvantages of Spirit, fly United because your brother has free ticket vochers and so it won’t cost anything.
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I mean, as long as someone is doing the pushing, might as well keep it going in the parks as well. There is so much walking, otherwise. Just spend the entire trip in the wheelchair with someone pushing you!
Do they not allow you to bring a carry-on that can fit under the seat in front of you? I would just bring a backpack that can go under the seat. I have one that is certainly too large for a normal “personal item” size but will still fit under the seat.
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Make sure this person is not someone you want to be your friend after the trip, because after all that pushing, when you stand up and say “Thanks!”, they won’t like you any more.
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DH says there are not enough potties at MCO. He said that when men actually have to stand in line and there aren’t any recent flights that just dumped hundreds of people nearby, then there’s a problem.
I said, welcome to the club, pal. 
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Men aren’t used to having to wait to pee. If we do, it is generally less than 20 seconds. 
Yup. That’s why it was a rude awakening. But I thought I’d let you know in case you wanted to use the facilities on the plane, which are hardly ever preferable but neither is standing in line!
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My wife and I went to see Handel’s Messiah last December. But the building is very old, and limited restrooms. At intermission, the men’s room line was so long that after waiting, I was able to get back to my seat within only about 2 minutes before the second half. So, it was probably about a 13 minute wait.
Honestly, I’ve had fewer troubles with LAX and MCO combined than I have with O’Hare.
Look, fly through Chicago if you want to. I’ll pay extra for alternate routings.
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