Final Thoughts
I’m going to get real here for a second, because I need to get this off my chest. If you don’t want to think about depressing things, feel free to skip this post.
I mentioned elsewhere that I have friends who live in Ukraine through my connections teaching Russian in college. My closest Ukrainian friend, a woman who taught Russian with me, lives in Kyiv with her husband and two young children. Last week a couple of days after the bombing started, she decided she needed to leave. Her husband drove her with their two children and mother to the Romanian border. She is now safe in Germany thanks to the support of friends abroad. Her husband and father had to stay in Ukraine because they are within the 18-60 age range.
I have been able to think of nothing else but what is going on there for the last 2 weeks. I was hoping to be able to disconnect for a couple of days. My grief does not help anyone, and I firmly believe we need to continue living our lives despite people suffering. (I also think we should help those suffering.)
The first couple of hours at Disneyland I was not able to enjoy it very much. It just seemed absurd to be pursuing amusements at such a time.
Then we rode It’s a Small World. I’m not sure why my brain and emotions chose this moment to be completely overwhelmed by all the thoughts and fears that had been plaguing me. Added to it, I had just purchased an individual lightning lane, and I had a Schindler’s List moment where I realized how much money that was to the people in Ukraine. How many people could I have fed or evacuated with that money? And yet, it was nothing to me. I just got my bonus and raise and it is obscene to think about how much I’m being paid. (I’m not super wealthy, but in this context, I am almost ashamed. I don’t deserve it.)
Folks, I broke down sobbing on It’s a Small World. I tried to keep it together enough that I don’t think anyone noticed. I am a very stoic person and don’t show my emotions often. I was so embarrassed.
After I calmed myself down I remembered this tweet thread that I had seen earlier in the week:
https://twitter.com/jsher88888/status/1498446994863378432?s=20&t=X4vFWfiXMf3qxhi5q6uOtg
The week Walt Disney assigned my dad and uncle, the Sherman Brothers, to write a song for his “Children of the World” pavilion, the Cuban Missile Crisis was underway. That afternoon they wrote three versions of “it’s a small world.”
Dad always said he and Dick were terrified that nuclear war was possible and possibly imminent. “Small World” was their prayer for peace. All my ancestors came from a small village near Kyiv. They escaped the Cossacks, fleeing in the middle of the night…
I realized that the world has survived this kind of tragedy before, and we’ll survive it again. If the Sherman Brothers can write “It’s a Small World” in the middle of the Cuban Missile Crisis, I can get it together and enjoy a couple of days with my wife and her family.
I was eventually able to “escape,” for which I alternately felt ashamed and relieved. It was a good trip, and I’m grateful I had the chance to take it.
Thanks for your support and care. 
