So we booked our trip last July for this August, we are from the UK. We are taking our 3 foster children and our 7 year old son. all very excited. My 22 year old daughter let me know just after Christmas that she was pregnant with her second child. She thought it was due mid September, we go 14 August until 1st September. Fast forward this Friday, she has had a scan and has been given the date 16th August.
So this is the question what do I do? Do I cancel, because I cant take the kids out of school with them being foster children I cannot do this. If I bring it forward it will still have to be during our summer holidays and whos to say she wont be early.
I am really struggling with this.
Then today I had a thought, by the time we go away our Grandson, her son, will be 25 months, do I offer to take him so that she can focus on the baby for a couple of weeks. BTW myself and Grandson have an extremely strong attachement and he is comfortable being with myself or his Mum.
I know on here nobody is going to put not very nice comments…I don’t need beating up I am doing that very well myself thankyou, HELP
Have you asked your daughter her thoughts? She might be able to offer you some insight that we can’t.
I know you are thinking that she may go early and are worried about moving up your trip, but she might also go late. If possible, maybe move your trip up for the first two weeks of August instead of the last two.
Absolutely don’t beat yourself up about this. This is not your fault, it is just one of those things that happens. Whatever you decide (and I agree about talking to your daughter about this), you will make the choice that’s best for your family, and I’m sure they will all understand the difficulty you are in.
Is the issue that you don’t want to be in the US when she has the baby? I think you have a lovely time planned for your kids and your older daughter has a wonderful thing happening. I think if I was in this position I would have to move the vacation to be with my daughter. But you know your family best.
You can go with your plans. The baby will come at his/her own pace. I delivered three months early. If the children know they will be disappointed if they can’t go.
I agree with @jlyn talk to your daughter. Get her thoughts and feelings, give her all the thoughts you gave us. And do not beat yourself up, please. All are good options. Just think of all the fun you will have shopping in Disney for the new arrival, including the first Disney plush!!
Thanks everyone, its an emotional struggle. And I know it shouldn’t come into play, but most of you will understand, we don’t get to go to Disney every year or every other year and the selfish side of me, at the grand old age of 47 is thinking very me me me and needing the Disney that I have been looking forward to. The Mum side is very disssapointed in myself and feel that I must cancel what kind Mum wouldn’t…talking about putting myself on an internal guilt trip.
Myself and my daughter have some time together on Friday so we will chat over lunch and see what her thoughts are. The last birth was a little chaotic and needed an emergency c section.
I’m also in the UK and my parents were in Disneyland when I had my first baby aged 19 after a very difficult pregnancy - they never considered cancelling for a second and I definitely wouldn’t have wanted them to. I don’t know if they regret it but it doesn’t and didn’t ever bother me.
I hope your chat with your daughter makes the decision easy. Sometimes the best decision becomes obvious at a random moment. Everything just falls into place in our minds and hearts.
I know that I preferred to have alone time with just baby and husband after giving birth, but everyone is different.
Keep us posted!
I think offering to take your grandson is a wonderful idea. It is nice to have time for a new baby or for yourself (if still pregnant). I wouldn’t beat yourself up over any decision - it sounds like it is a wonderful time for your family. Disney and babies - how fun!
So we have chatted.
I told her that I would cancel if that’s what she needed me to do, she has said no she doesn’t want us to do that.
I also offered to take our Grandson, but she would rather his first visit be with her. I totally understand.
I am just waiting until Monday to make my mind up completely she sees the consultant on Monday and we may have more info then.
Thankyou everyone for your help
I think with decisions like this it helps to compare what choice would be harder to live with. It sounds like it would be a trip of a lifetime in many ways! While the birth of a child is monumental, you will have so much time to spend with them after your trip as well, and babies are so unpredictable it would be impossible to schedule a trip around her! If she is not worried about I don’t think you should be either, and sounds like you have other kids this is centered around that are part of this decision too. However if beig away for the birth is something you just can’t live with (vs not being able to miss the chance for this trip), then be where you need to be.