So, I like to plan my travel well in advance. Because uncertainty makes me pukey and I’m an anxious mess and blah blah, plus the anticipation is part of the fun (WHOA uncensored folks, this ain’t la cava, but also… hey friends). Plus, I don’t often know what I think about something until I write it down. it’s like my brain can’t think in a linear fashion, and so I put things on paper and rearrange them until they make sense (see: coping mechanisms for a lifetime of untreated adhd). I also know that you folks are the smartest bunch of trip planners on the internet and greatly value your educated opinions, as they have steered me right again and again.
So, next year during Spooky Season, I turn 40. DH and I had talked about taking a big “woo hoo, we’re over the hill!” trip, so I had been sort of dreaming and scheming family trips. We are already going to the Maldives in January, but that trip is costing less than a week at POR with 5 day hoppers for a family of 4, thanks to points and miles, so even though it’s FAR, it’s not “the big trip.” And spring break next year we are going on the Treasure, which I feel like is our big family trip for the year.
So I was researching Antarctica and the Galapagos, just because those to me are Huge Trips, but many folks have convincingly argued to me that DD will just be too young (6 or 7) for all of us to enjoy it, and I think the days of leaving her behind and her not remembering or caring are pretty much over. I was also considering Morocco, since we had that fabulous trip planned but “postponed” because of her behavior issues, which seem to be improving with time.
And then, DH, ever the one to throw a wrench in things, is like “here is where I’m going for my 40th bday trip. And I’m taking my dad, DS, my bff, your brother and his BFF. And I’m paying for all of them.”
They’re going to a fishing lodge 100 miles from civilization in Panama and renting out the presidential villa for 5 nights and fishing for 4 days. It is not cheap. Why he is paying for my engineer brother and his engineer BFF, IDK, but there we are. And my mom, and my brother’s GF (if he doesn’t propose to her in front of the castle on our August trip I will smack that boy), and my stepMIL are like… well heck, where we goin on a girls trip!!!
And so I’m like, okay, I guess I’m having an extravagant girls trip for my 40th??/!! So I start looking at ideas, because Antarctica, the Galapagos and Morocco aren’t exactly “girls trip” material, especially since DH wants to go on the first two if not all 3.
So I start brainstorming… where can you take a 6 or 7 year old (she’ll be 7 Aug 2025, two months before my bday), a couple of minimally mobile 60+ year olds, a college professor and phd student and potentially a couple of good friends?
I know, Disney! Except, I spent my 30th and 37th and 38th (and maybe my 36th, I can’t remember) bday there, and I’ll be there in a couple months, and there won’t really be anything NEW so what I’d really love is a LONG trip to soak up the details.
But I can’t really go without DS. And DS and DBGF (brother’s girlfriend) can’t go on a long trip during school. And the moms would only be marginally interested.
Oh, what about Epic Universe?!?! Well, I can’t go without DS. And DB. And it will be SLAMMED. And what will DD ride? She’s never even been to UO. And do I really want a theme park to be my 40th bday celebration? What if Epic Universe is… not that Epic (to me it looks like a copy of Disneysea, which isn’t a bad thing, but nostalgia is a big factor for me in theme parks…)?! And what if my extreme thrill ride days are permanently over (pending medical testing)? Passing out on the Hulk and then being spent all day isn’t exactly woohoo material?
Well, maybe something simpler, like Nashville? Great, but not for DD, and how sad for her to be the only one not to participate in the 40th celebrations. And I also don’t drink. 30A? Could be cool, but not in October, and I live at the beach…
I know! A Christmas markets cruise! DH and DS wouldn’t cry one tear if they missed that. Only, I watched a bunch of videos, and I wasn’t as excited about it as I thought I would be. It’s cold. My mom can’t walk that far (we learned in NYC she’s not good over about 2 blocks) and there’s not a ton of accessible stuff on icy European alleys.
What about just going in summer, before the bday, but doing Lake Como? That sounds amazing… but idk what DD would do there. What about the Disneyland Adventures by Disney? I definitely could not leave DS out of that, but the rest of my crew would be marginally interested at the very best, and it’s too expensive for marginal interest. DH’s crew are all total fishing lunatics and this will be the trip of a lifetime for ALL of them. And summer… what if DB and DBGF are getting married next summer? I don’t want to mess with their dates!
What about a nice spa resort? Well, here’s a secret. I don’t even really like massages. And spa prices at resorts make me a little woozy. Like Belle, I want ADVENTURE in the great wide somewhere!
But then practical, off-brand-soda-drinking me is like… just because DH is irresponsible doesn’t mean I have to be, too! There is no need to spend more than you should just cause he did. And we are already doing Hawaii with everyone next month, so why he felt the need to do this, I dunno, but he did, and the deposit is paid and nonrefundable, so…If the boys get an epic trip, why not the girls? Well, because we don’t all have similar interests and trip requirements. But… it’s MY bday, not theirs, so who cares what the rest of the gals might want, just pick what you want to do and if they want to come, great? Except, then the guys get an amazing trip and the girls don’t, and then who would I have go with me? And do I really want to GO somewhere, or is it more about the company for me? I could just have a nice party. But then I’ve wasted an opportunity to take a giant trip where DH can’t say no! Also, you disgusting brat and your first world problems, how about you think about something real for 10 minutes!!!
And so on and so forth ad nauseum.
I’ve been in this spiral for like two weeks now. I would love:
a) if anyone has any suggestions for climbing out
b) to hear about your wildest travel dreams and be inspired
c) to hear about your best ever trips and be inspired
d) any sense making anyone can offer
Thank you for reading.
the funny thing is, I do this for clients who don’t know where they want to go, no problem. I’m just bad at doing it for myself.
