I remember reading this in a very old edition of the Unofficial Guide. Did you ever write in and submit this as feedback? 
Update: I found the reference in the 1998 Unofficial Guide to Disneyland p.80. They put the same stuff in most of the editions so it is probably in every edition ever since.
I assume @janamelia that you would never consider yourself from Ann Arbor and that your DH’s name wasn’t Jon? 
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Good assumptions 
But I do have several editions of that book tho they’re the WDW version. 
No 
I don’t think I’ve ever submitted anything to even the WDW edition.
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I have / had a couple of these and I’m pretty sure they include the quote as well.
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It’s settled I’m doing the dead mackerel
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They do include the quote
That’s where I got the tip.
We used it to good effect 
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One thing to think about in advance is whether you will all be in the parks at the same time or if some will go back to the resort while others are at the parks for part of the day. When DD was 4 and DS was 2, DD was no longer napping, but DS was taking one afternoon nap a day. DW and I knew DS would not be able to nap at the parks in a stroller. And DD wanted to stay in the parks all day. So DW and I took turns going back to the resort with DS for a nap break while the other stayed at the park with DD.
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I’m expecting that we may have to skip nap on 1 or 2 days. Otherwise we will plan for 4-5 hours in the park to start the day, then 2-3 hours at the hotel, and then hopefully rally for another 3-4 hours of adventure somewhere.
It feels ambitious but I like the flexibility of at least plotting for 2 parks per day. Plus being walking distance from HS and Epcot will be easier to plan around and could bank some 20 min stroller naps which is always a boost.
A few other questions as I plan.
Is rider switch available for all rides? How exactly does it work- do we wait in line together and then take turns going with my oldest, and he effectively gets to ride them all back to back?
As for lines, are we required to take the babies out of the stroller for every queue or are there some that we can leave them in?
Is there a list of rides that allow lap children to ride on you?
Outside of park entry is anything else free for under 3?
I actually think that your “otherwise” is a really good plan. Skipping naps is a recipe for disaster, especially if it’s hot. When my kids were 4 they were well beyond napping but still napped at Disney! Either back in the room or in the stroller but you definitely want some level of rest. I’ll be honest that we never made it till evening in any parks when my kids were that little! Just take every advantage of the morning and go back to the hotel in the afternoon when the lines are long and it’s super hot.
Rider swap is offered on every (most every?) ride with a height requirement. You do NOT all wait in line together. At the entrance to the line you find the CM with an iPad (they are pretty well labeled nowadays) and ask for the Rider Swap. They’ll ask who is riding second, make sure you say DS4 even if he’s also riding first. They will scan their card/band and essentially provide the second parent and DS and Lightning Lane to be used later. You can ride anytime later but you can only hold one at a time so you have to organize your plans a little bit. We don’t always ride back to back.
You cannot take the stroller in any lines and I would not expect to be able to bring it into a restaurant either unless a CM makes an exception for a sleeping baby or something.
Kids under 3 eat free at buffets! That might be worth something.
Anything where there is no height requirement will allow you to bring the babies on. If they are 2 I think they might ask you to have them sit next to you like on Peter Pan or Dumbo.
One other very random thing I learned the hard way that’s probably irrelevant for 2 year olds, but babies must have shoes/socks on for every ride! Even if you are carrying them. They turned away my 10 month old who couldn’t walk because he was barefoot 
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All of my six kids were awesome stroller nappers. We had the benefit of just doing every other day RD til after fireworks. But they would be fine napping in stroller.
WDW is great about letting you bring in your own snacks and I endorse it highly.
You have lots of good tips here. I’ve never done rider swap. I know many others can chime in.
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Similarly, friends of mine said that when playing in the splash pads, the kids had to remain clothed. You can’t take a kid’s shirt off or strip a toddler to a diaper for water play.
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None of our toddlers had a schedule at WDW. They might be like a clock at home but not in the World. That 3 yo darter never napped for 5 days. Until finally he crashed on day 6 and slept several hours.
Most of ours napped in the stroller very well. This was always our shopping time.
And hardly any were awake for lunches. They’d fall asleep more quickly in a noisy restaurant than in a quiet darkened room.
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This provides a lot of info
The most kid ride rich environment is MK. Primarily Fantasyland. Some of the other rides don’t apppeal to 2 yos that much. Our super brave 2 yo started out ok on Pirates and then got overwhelmed, left the person they were riding with to crawl over a seat to the daily carer person. That was a fraught moment but only a brief moment. No stopping that kid-on-a-mission either. 
May can be warm. By 11 am, it may be time to head to a pool or air conditioning. (Have a plan) (this is a good time for a character buffet
Dark rides are kid specific. That 3 yo loved Haunted Mansion while another was traumatized. And when that scared 3 yo is 6, Haunted Mansion will still be a scary no go.
The sensory overload for kids is real. We had a 5 yo one trip - so excited to be at MK, where they’d been at 2 and 4. I checked as we walked down Main Street and it was clear that Main Street reality was almost too much to experience. Luckily we stopped for breakfast. And remembered to check feet for blisters. The dear flip flops went into a stroller and dreaded socks and crocks went on instead.
Many families report that the kids’ most favorite was the pool. Like the box is played with at Christmas rather than the toy.
You couldn’t go far wrong by visiting a park until about 11, when the heat and crowds start to be most noticeable. Do the character meal - keeping your phone’s camera ready. Start taking photos as the characters approach.
Do some park pool and or playground in the afternoon.
Grab a quick service supper and put on a movie about 7 pm.
One unlooked item: clothing. When we brought three of our great granddaughters their grandmother had bought them identical shirts. One day the 3 had on identical pink sun tops. Another day they all had white t-shirtsc with little red bows all over. They got so much attention from the characters and they were easy to keep track of in the park.
Happily we started them off on Aladdin’s Magic Carpet for their first ride, which terrorized them. They never wanted to re-ride that ride.
But they liked the rest of MK, just not Adventureland and Aladdin.
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You’re all saints, I can’t thank you enough for this advice, I’m blown away!!
one detail I forgot to mention: we will be there for Mother’s Day!
any advice on how to make it extra special? Do they do anything unique at parks or resorts that I should seek out?
Not only is this our family’s first Disney trip, we got married during Covid so we never got a honeymoon and my wife has essentially been on mommy duty 24/7 for 5 years. I’d love to make it extra memorable.
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Hire a nanny so you two can go out for a relaxing dinner!
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I’ve been to AK twice on Mother’s Day (and Disneyland once, too).
I have been given a carnation each time. 
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Two things come to my mind:
Photo
or
Me time
Disney’s got these people walking around in photographer outfits. Some are quite good. Some won’t expend the energy to compose a photo, and the photos aren’t free.
They are at the photo op spots in the parks, castle, tree, big ball, etc. Also other spots, like the lookout towards Everest on the walkway there. Have several taken in each park with the kids. Then at home make a memory book - using Shutterfly or even FedEx - for her to look, with the kids, back at their first trip.
Or if she’s got a favorite Disney character who might also be doing regular meet and greets, she might appreciate a few photos of that. Photos are 
Me time:
Resort
Spa time
Horseback riding
Painting class
Poolside, solo, for 2 hours
Since it is Mother’s Day, check with the Dolphin to see what they might have planned
The most critical thing is to know what’s important to her. My favorite anniversary celebration was not a special dinner but an early morning hike followed by a big breakfast. And never buy me jewelry
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These are all great tips. I’m going to throw a different one out. With 5 kids, we’ve done a lot of traveling with young children. The portable cribs offered in hotels can be questionable - I’m talking in terms of cleanliness and also condition, bottoms that don’t lie flat, etc. With our oldest few we traveled with our own portable crib, which was doable because the airlines considered it “baby gear” so it could be checked free. Later, we discovered an earlier version of this Intex kid-size inflatable bed. It holds air well, fits a regular crib sheet (which we bring) and our kids did great with it up to age 5-6. It fit easily into a checked bag for travel, might even fit in a carryon if you didn’t need much else in there. During the day we just stood it up against the wall to save space.
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You can ask for a button celebrating your first visit to WDW. The cast members may be extra nice to your family if you’re wearing them. Someone more knowledgeable will have to clue you in on where you ask for them. My DS and his GF sent out a picture from there recent trip, and they were both wearing “Magically ever after buttons, and in a group picture with Mary Poppins and Bert, the GF had her left hand tucked behind her back, leading my sisters to speculate widely about a possible engagement.
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