I did make a mistake in tipping during our last Disney trip.
We had planned for one nice meal out with our kids, so decided on Rain Forest Cafe. (Well, I guess some people wouldn’t consider that nice, but for us it was nice in that it was expensive and better food than the counter service we were accustomed to!)
Anyhow, since we had four of our kids, that made us as party of 6. I just didn’t think about a family being a party of 6. But we were, nonetheless. So, when the final bill came, I dutifully added my 20+% tip, not realizing they had already tacked on the automatic 18% tip. And since I was tipping on top of the tip, the 20% was actually more than 20%. In the end, our server ended up with a 40+% tip. I’m sure she was very happy. I, however, was annoyed after I realized it. That extra money could have bought us all an extra snack in the parks! But it didn’t matter, since we were still under our food budget.
It was a learning experience. When they say “party of 6”, they really mean 6, no matter what ages are involved!
If I may dangerously widen the discussion — but in a very specific way — there are a number of issues where Europeans are really opposed to things that Americans do. It’s taken me a long time to realise that this is because Americans have very different perspectives on life.
This is a broad generalisation but, for example, I think (some/many) Americans prefer to be totally self-reliant. (Some/many) Europeans typically like the idea of being looked after — to an extent — by the state. Insofar as this is true, if you get your head round it, you start to understand why (some/many) Americans think how they do. And vice versa.
For example, to (some/many) Americans, it makes absolute sense to own a gun. They viscerally don’t trust the state. They’d rather be in charge of their own security. To (some/many) Europeans, the idea of owning a gun horrifies them. They feel like they don’t need one. The state will protect them and the state can be trusted. These two positions are diametrically opposed and pretty much impossible to reconcile.
The sad part is that opposing sides rarely seem willing to listen to each other and figure out a solution that everyone can live with.
Returning to tipping, I want an all-inclusive, headline figure so I know where I stand. How do we get to there from here? I’m just me. Disney is a massive corporation. How can I get them to listen? Being European, my answer is: the government should intervene.
Or maybe — I’m being naughty now — I should take an American approach and rely on myself. I won’t tip anyone ever. If others follow my lead, maybe servers will put pressure on employers to change the system.
But that massively weakens the emotional blackmail argument that I should tip my servers. If they earn so much money why should I enrich them even more? Maybe they earn more than I do. No-one tips me.
(I’m not saying I’m going to stop tipping people. I’m just saying, either servers are desperately underpaid and need tips to survive, or they earn huge amounts thanks to insanely high levels of tipping. Both cases seem to be argued.)
Generally speaking I think tips even out and servers do ok. Better than some low-level entry jobs, but not nearly as much as someone who’s been working in their field for ten years. Serving is a great job for students or people who need lots of flexibility. It stinks as a “career” because there’s usually no upward mobility and you don’t get a raise each year or anything, plus rarely do they have any medical or dental benefits. I waited tables in grad school and it was great for what it was. It’s been ten years since I’ve waited tables and I still have nightmares sometimes about it.
Actually, both are true. Waiters will start out working places that have cheaper meals. Denny’s, for example, will bring in far less per person than Black Rock. But the wait staff isn’t expected to be as well trained. They are learning. Which means they are making significantly less, even with tips. But they are gaining experience.
With experience, they can move up to other establishments that have higher prices. This means they will bring in more in tips as well, allowing them to move up. The better they are, the more likely they can earn more. Eventually, with enough experience, they may end up in a very nice place making a lot more money.
It gives them a way to “move up” in their career, if that is their choice of career. (For example, waiting tables will simply be a means to finance college, etc.)
The problem is that your over-generalization of Americans forgets the fact that we as Americans also try to reward the hard work of others. Self-reliance isn’t all about self, but also about recognizing and rewarding those who work towards self-reliance. Tipping is part of that. A single mother of three children, for example, who is trying to make ends meet by waiting tables is admirable. A single mother of three children who relies on welfare, etc., not so much. In the former, it is self-reliance and people will tip knowing that they are helping (well, some simply out of obligation, I suppose.) encourage that self-reliance.
Agreed. I think most British people would agree, too.
Where we differ is that I don’t see it as my responsibility to make sure she is paid a wage she can raise her family on. The restaurant should pay her appropriately. And incentivise her to give consistently good service. And train her to do so. So that I don’t need to worry about it. I can pay the sticker price and relax.
My folks were sort of ahead of their time. My siblings and I all have “username” first names. My sister is SoFrickinDumb and my stepbrother is TotallyAnArse
— I should take an American approach and rely on myself. I won’t tip anyone ever. If others follow my lead, maybe servers will put pressure on employers to change the system.