My wife turns 30 next October. I am planning a trip for September or October of 2016. Our group will include 11 adults, 5yo, 2yo, and 18 mo. My wife and I love WDW and have vacationed there as recent as 2014 so we are familiar with most of the recent updates (although we just missed the 7DMT opening). I am wondering what tips and pointers you guys have for doing Disney in a large group. We hope to have a 10 day stay with our families joining in for 5 of those days. We realize that it is ridiculous to try and do everything together. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
So fun!!!
You’re already ahead of the game by using this website and having that expectation that you all won’t be doing EVERYTHING together.
Some tips:
Pick 5-10 attractions that you’d like to do or can do all together.
Decide how many and which meals to do together (not necessarily all dinner. Break it up). Keep some meals for each family to have their own time.
Plan breaks.
Plan ahead with meetup areas/spots.
Be sure you are all linked properly on MDE.
That’s just a few tips. I’m sure you’ll get lots more.
Good luck!!
Having read many posts about large group experiences my advice is: don’t do it.
OK, that’s not a real option here. 
The best advice I know is to not try and coordinate too many things. Plan a few group activities, but make sure that they are not time critical or will impact plans for later in the day. Otherwise, make plans for your core group and let everyone else know “OK, this is our plan. You are free to join in as and when you please, but we do not intend to deviate from this or wait around for others.”
Also, find out who are the “planners” in the rest of the group, and work with them. Educate them on the realities of a WDW vacation and offer to help with your knowledge/experience. Don’t try to get a group consensus - that will drive you crazy.
Maybe plan a few meals together or block out pool time if you’re all at same resort. Good luck.
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Blocking out pool time sounds like a good idea. Also a couple of meals that will appeal to most everyone. Do not go signature, maybe a buffet like Boma, Trails End or a character.
Maybe a movie under the stars or chip and Dale campfire or Hoop de do revue.
Perhaps you all meet for a parade or a firework show.
There has already been good advice listed. Good for you thinking about it so far ahead.