Oh no! Mousematt is whining again. Take cover!

I’m so sorry! I’ve struggled with anxiety and only agreed to medication once for a procedure I knew would bring on PTSD and it was so worth it! The gyn asked if it was working and I said “ well I haven’t lied or left yet so it must be”. Got me through do I could have a surgery that changed my life. I think the restrictions are causing folks who haven’t struggled with depression before to experience it and mental health care services were abyssal in the before times. Can you do telehealth visits with someone? A weekend away with Calvin might help. Wish there was something I could do. In the meantime know you are not alone. There are a lot of us wishing you well.

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I’m sorry that you’re having a rough time. Depression is such a hard thing to struggle with. And it sounds like you doctors’ services aren’t set up to make it easy to find the right supports. I have to imagine that somewhere in the UK, there is a good doctor that can help you manage your depression so that you suffer less and you’re able to enjoy life more. Finding that doctor and getting an appointment with them might be harder than getting a FOP FP, but with your tenacity and research skills, I really think you can do it.

I don’t know much about the UK healthcare system, but when I’ve been looking for a really good therapist here in the US (usually for my neurodiverse son), I usually have to go “out of network” and pay out of pocket. It eats up a big chunk of our family’s budget, but it’s so worth it IMO. Good therapy is life changing.

My advice is to take all of those research skills you’ve honed with trip planning and apply them to finding and getting your name on the wait lists for some potentially good therapists. Folks who are recommended by people you trust, or have a good reputation, or get stellar reviews, etc.

We are rooting for you, Mousematt!

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I usually have to go “out of network” and pay out of pocket. It eats up a big chunk of our family’s budget, but it’s so worth it IMO. Good therapy is life changing.

And this is the problem with the American healthcare system. Our insurance won’t pay the going rate which the doctors need to cover the cost of their liability insurance from being sued for every little thing and therefore the mental health professional cannot afford to take insurance. I concur with your assessment in my experience. The best psychologists, psychiatrists and even group therapy centers such as our local DBT therapy center do not take health insurance.

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Agreed, as a parent of autistic teen the vast majority of his most impactful therapies were with providers that didn’t take insurance.

There are very few available that do take it, and of those it is difficult to find quality practitioners that will (can) provide consistent and reliable care.

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It’s as if mental health is only for those of means?

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Same struggle here. I supposedly live in one of the best states to raise an autistic child, but none of the really good doctors take insurance. The ones that take insurance have long wait lists, and even once you’re in, you’ll wait for everything.
I called my son’s developmental peds bc the school needed a letter for something 4 times in 2 weeks. Every time they said they were working on it. I got fed up and emailed his primary care doctor who got the letter out same day.
What REALLY gets me heated is that he has both private insurance though DH’s job, AND SSI Medicaid and for the really complicated stuff, both are worthless.

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PA? Us too.

We actually didn’t even sign up for Medicaid because I didn’t see any upside to jumping through all the hoops and filling out all that paperwork as ds is ridiculously healthy. There isn’t anything that Medicaid would cover…for the last 10 years!! We would probably only use it for the museum access which I can’t rationalize.

NJ, but right on the Delaware, so practically PA.
My primary care keeps telling us to go to CHOP. But CHOP is fighting with our private insurance company, United and won’t take them. And his SSI Medicaid won’t go to CHOP either. So I’m stuck with Children’s Specialized. The absolute worst. We’ve been waiting a YEAR for a psych eval for DS, whose behaviors have disintegrated over the pandemic and is now literally destroying our home. 🤦 They did pay in part for his complex medical stroller/wheelchair hybrid.

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Big Hugs to you!!

Navigating all of this is somewhere between a part time and full time job!! We are just north of Philadelphia and I know a lot of parents will opt for AI Dupont instead of CHOP. Is that an option for you?

We’re on the waiting list. :rofl::face_with_symbols_over_mouth:
You’re probably right across the river from me.

Just off the PA turnpike before you get to the Blue Route :slight_smile:

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Oh, like KOPish!!! Yeah that’s pretty close!
I’m just north of the Burlington Bristol.

Not as far as KOP. That is one exit on the other side of the Blue Route, I am on one exit closer to NJ.

We can be in Trenton in 45min. Don’t take the Burlington Bristol often…but know exactly where that is.

Hi neighbor! :sunglasses:

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Matt…self-care is so important and after the last 1.5 years we know that more than ever. If self-care looks like finding a really great mental health practitioner, then I would try again (which I completely understand requires effort that is often difficult to find).

Self-care can also look like giving yourself a break, and/or permission to whine, or to feel sad.

Sending hugs.

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Jazz hands to you @sanstitre_has_left_the_building. (:wink:) Better days are ahead. We love you and are all wishing for an end to these restrictions on your behalf. In the meantime, do you what you need to do to care for yourself and your mental health. We’re always here for you.

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I fully believe this. But “it makes sense to feel this way, so no meds” doesn’t logically follow. Unless you have some kind of grand plan to change everything to not suck, which I am here for but don’t see happening, then all you can control is you. Sure the depression might be situational, but you can only change one of the two factors.

Part of the political landscape these days is fatiguing/overloading people so much they just can’t care anymore so they don’t even have the emotional energy to get mad… aka depression. Maybe, just maybe, if you mitigate that w meds, you can be clear headed and motivated enough to.take action. Or at least you will feel less crappy.

I’m sorry you had a crappy healthcare experience. I’ve had plenty myself, including a couple stories that I can’t share here but ain’t pretty. How much would a 15m telehealth visit with a private provider cost? $100? Is that a thing in the UK? I’ve resorted to that in the past. Sucks to spend the money but if you have it squirreled away it’s a good way to use it.

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So, I was in this place 10 years ago plus panic attacks. I had to try 5 meds before finding the right one. It literally saved my life. I preferred feeling dull to feeling like I was going to burst into flames at any minute, and once I started getting better, we added a low dose of an SNRI to combat the emotional dulling of the SSRI. its a very good combination for me. No panic attacks in a decade.

Just saying that it’s not an either or. If you get out of a crisis mode on a med, you can tweak and get to a balanced place.

YES. I feel like I wasted ages 17-24 just trying not to freak the eff out all the time. If I had gotten treatment in my teens, how much could I have done or enjoyed?? Instead of living in a ball of panic and worry and anxious paralysis and not being able to make clear decisions, etc. Now that I don’t spend my entire life.managing my anxiety or being exhausted from managing it, I do things! It’s great!

Matt, I’ve so enjoyed reading your trip reports and posts in the past. I am sorry that you are going through this right now. As someone that suffers from anxiety, all I can say is just try to keep busy and get your mind focused on planning what you can. A short trip with Calvin sounds like it could be great. And seriously consider taking that cruise - sounds like it would be amazing. If I remember correctly you had a trip in December, I think it was 2018, and it was planned not that far in advance and you were able to accomplish a lot. If things open up again, with your planning skills you could plan a trip probably fairly quickly. If anyone could do it I know you can.

Question for both of you. I hope this doesn’t offend because that is not my intention. Before staying home with our kids, DW was a speech pathologist who worked with children with autism. She corrected me a number of times when I referred to a child as autistic and told me to say “child with autism” instead because by saying “autistic” child I was defining the child by his/her autism. DW so convinced me of this that I now cringe when I see the phrase “autistic child”. But yet, I see loving parents using the phrases “autistic child” and “autistic teen”. Is DW off base on this?