In which case, maybe start the TP at say 10am and arrange a place to meet before then. Doesn’t stop you trying to get everyone together and travel as a group, but it lessens the pressure.
And most of all, get agreement from everyone that people are free to skip the plan, or part of it. Things change, kids get cranky, people sleep in. Far better to have fun together for some of the time than drag around with simmering resentment.
Fair enough.
However not having a TP doesn’t mean people have to separate. And with kids who’ve never been before they may well get overwhelmed being in the parks all day. Last thing you want is to have this plan which entails all being in the park until close and having a meltdown.
It happens. A 4 year old might need a break, a 7 year old might need some time just with Dad. I’d hate to think of a tired and unhappy kid having to “stick with the plan” just because the Grands think a 7yo should be able to last all day surrounded by not only all their family but also thousands of other people and over-stimulation.
And what if the Mom wants to take the 2yo for a nap? What if the only way for the 2yo to fall asleep is for Mom to lie on a bed with her? Are the in laws going to go ballistic when that whole family say they’re going back to swim and nap because they’ve had enough?
You know your family best, but I see problems ahead here. I would be trying to point out to your in laws that it would be better to let people have time to themselves to unwind than insist on all being together from breakfast to bed.
I’ve read through. No experience but I had some thoughts. A survey on what type of trip everyone is looking for might be helpful. I know your in laws want to be together all the time, but does everyone feel that way? Then you can gear you plans.
I do like the suggestion plan fo part of the day and then let people have some time to themselves. So easy being at CR.
I agree 
I will have to give this more thought.
At least the hotel choice went much smoother than I expected. Everyone was on board with my recommendation of CR (for ease of walking to MK). My in-laws preferred Garden Wing (due to price) and within a couple days, each family booked their room at CR.
I am planning a trip for 9 or 10 in 2022. How did it work to make 2 different reservations? Did you have 2 different MDE accounts, or could you make 2 reservations with just your MDE account?
That is an excellent point. With Dave doing the TPs at the behest of the in-laws, if others find it too much to stick with etc then Dave will be the one that is “blamed”. And if the TP proves too demanding, be it early starts or is too tiring or the kids want to spend all day in the pool (as kids often do), then it will cause a lot of friction.
For me, the way round that is the TP allows 3-4 hours of “pool time” or a couple of hours in the middle of the AK day at the Boneyard, or at TSI on the MK day, or a game of mini golf. And a very loose TP with plenty of chances for kids just wanting to watch boats come down Splash Mountain etc.
But expectations if not agreed by everyone can quickly sour.
Now we don’t know the dynamics of the family, neither do we know if the in-laws are paying for much of this trip. So I feel I should perhaps back out.
Each family is paying their own way.
My in-laws only desires are (1) some time in each of the 4 parks and (2) the everyone together part (except for the 2 y/o going back to the resort to nap).
DW’s sister (kids 7 and 4) unfortunately is currently undergoing treatment for cancer and told DW that she wants someone else to do the planning and “tell her family where/when to be”.
DW’s brother is not a planner and knows zero about Disney. However, I could see him having his own ideas once he arrives in a park.
My to be 6 y/o likes to RD and stay all day (we learned this last trip when she was 4.5). Last trip we gave her the choice of taking an afternoon break, and she decided to stay in the parks (with a parent of course!). My youngest was 23 months last trip and needed an afternoon nap, but now that he is older, I think he will want to be with his sister at the parks.
We have 4 park days. I think I will make a TP for each day based on what my kids will want to do. Then I will send to my in-laws as my “suggested plan” but that they may want to be flexible about people deviating from the plan or doing their own thing.
This is true. I will likely be blamed for everything that goes wrong. Someone will be upset with me for starting the day too early … and then if we start later, someone will be upset that we missed an attraction. You can’t have both!
I’m not sensitive or easily offended, however, so I have no problem with getting blamed.
Everyone’s paying their own way, but the inlaws expect everyone to fully adhere the same schedule? I’m rankled by this and it’s not even my trip 
Sorry, but it’s my money and my vacation time, while we would want to spend some of the time together…I would not be ok giving up 100% of my time or only being able to leave the group if the grandparents deem it an acceptable reason.
Is this how previous joint vacations have gone? Everyone pays their own way, but grandparents expect full adherence to whatever plans they approve?
I think this sounds great. Having traveled with this group before I would imagine you have reasonable expectations as to what to expect from them. I agree that managing expectations with the entire group beforehand will likely go a long way to keeping the peace should plans go awry during the trip. If DW’s siblings are really going to flow with the “tell us where to be” thing then everything should be great!
And I want to say I am super impressed that you are taking the lead in planning a trip with your in-laws. My in-laws (parents and sibs) all operate so differently than I do and even though DH and I are 14 years into our relationship I still bristle when trying to make plans with them!
While you are charged with the TPs, the rest of the family should have a big picture understanding about how the park works so they don’t blame you when they the kids can’t ride PP 4 times in a roll without waiting upwards of 60+ minutes each time! Might I suggest a brief primer? Since the in laws haven’t been there in 50 years and the rest of the siblings have never been there, a brief primer about WDW might be helpful. It could include weather that time of year, modes of transportation, hours of operation, crowd levels, wait times, rope dropping, ability to ride multiple times, and extras besides rides. What is tricky are the unknowns because of the pandemic. Ask each family what they expect for a typical day at each park (meals, meal times, arrival at park, bedtime, etc). There is so much to see and do for a first trip. DGPs may want to stop for lots of pictures.
Perhaps propose one day of RDing and see how that works. I think getting 13 people out the day for rope dropping can be challenging. Getting everyone to move in sync is also challenging!
Low expectations, afternoon breaks, lots of padded time to accommodate for the unexpected and to smell the roses along the way.
excellent point!! We went in October one year and it was still brutally hot. I wasn’t expecting that one at all!!
Generally yes, but my in-laws have not been upset when some people missed stuff due to cranky kids, naps, sleeping in and the like.
Well, I ended up call into Dinning and had them make two simultaneous reservations for me (they showed up on my MDE acct). I think there was one that we had two reservations 5 min apart but each place was understanding and accommodating. We only had the one meal required for everyone to attend. My SiL kept us waiting to check in at one and was ‘teasing’ to be a no show 
Lots of good ideas here (especially giving them all a brief primer).
They all have no clue what a WDW visit entails, no clue about lines, don’t know what a FP is, probably think you can pick any restaurant for dinner at 3 pm each day and ride whatever you like many times, etc.
I’m laughing. It sounds outrageous, but believe it or not, they are overall really great in-laws.
Ha! I agree funny set up— but you know them better then us!
I love my family but the idea of a big family trip just stresses me out, so I’ll back out too—. I think you have a lot of great ideas and can’t wait to hear more about your planning!
Before we left I provided a packing check list, a Trip Itinerary and then Touring Plans for each park day. We had a meeting for any last minute questions or concerns. I stressed that if people could keep it together for the first 3-4 hours, then the rest of the day was flexible.
Dinners was the recap for the next day and seeing who wanted to do what next(letting the ones that like to be spontaneous a chance to get out there).
Last night I had someone visiting that came on our last family and friends trip(6 people) and she commented how she likes how we tour vs her parents that go pounding the pavement all day- she mentioned that she had never been in a pool at WDW before or taken so many breaks(but yet we seemed to get as much done as her parents)…TP work.
Enjoy your trip
For my Large trip(my family of 4, 3 sisters, my parents , and my brother/sil and their 2 children=12)
Restaurants that worked best were 1900 PK Fare, Ale and Compass(then Yacht Club Grill), Cape May and Coral Reef. This was 10 years ago.
We had a trip like this with 14 several years ago. I would say a big thing from your perspective is plan but be flexible. The first few days I would get very on edge because we didn’t get to the parks early enough. Once I let that go, I had a much better time. It helped me, because the last few days, we didn’t all go together and my small crew was able to do some actual rope drops. So maybe plan some days starting together and other days doing your own thing for some amount of time. Priceless memories were made on that trip and I wouldn’t trade them for anything!