Where to start?
I haven’t been to Universal in over a decade. The last time I visited I said, “This is a tacky park.” It was because we went to the special effects show and learned how they made gore.
I put that experience in the deep recesses of my mind. Swore never to return.
Then…Harry Potter land 
As a proud member of the Slytherin house, I consider it my obligation to visit.
For the last eight years, I’ve whined and pouted about not going. So I decided this trip was going home to Hogsmeade.
I arrived at the park shortly before 8:30. I was armed with a park to park with express. You all know how expensive that was…
I parked in premium and made that LONG a walk to Islands of Adventure. 
As fate would have it, there was an issue with my tickets which requires a forty minute wait at guest services.
I got that all squared away and made a beeline to Velocicoaster. I’ve watched the videos for FOUR months and I was hyped. The line was 35 minutes long. I made good progress and quickly stored away my bag. The entire time I prayed “please don’t break down…please don’t break down.”
Guess what?
No seriously. Guess what?
We broke down for twenty minutes. Little did I know this was how my day would go.
I rode Velocicoaster and it is the most incredible roller coaster I’ve ever done. Super smooth. My butt was out of the seat the entire time. I’m interested in the technology. How on earth did I not fly out of it when there was no shoulder harness? The part with the second acceleration scared the crap out of me! We were already going so fast.
I was like…” we’re off to a good start. Lemme head over to Hagrids.”
Hagrids had a 90 minute wait. I put my bag in a locker and headed to the line.
Here’s the lesson. I should have had a bottle of water (or ice) and some sort of snack. Oh. And my phone. I have low blood sugar and I wear a continuous glucose monitor.
See where this is headed?
The ride broke down. Continuously. What was supposed to be an hour and a half wait stretched to two and a half. I was dehydrated, hot, and moody. There are water fountains throughout the queue but the water has to be sourced from Shrek’s hot tub or from a neighboring bog. It was warm and had a bitter taste. Shrek broth.
I prevailed. I got to the front and was paired with someone from single rider. Now…I’m nice and polite. But I wasn’t playing and being nice. The motorbike was mine. I told the single rider (a sweet kid), “You’re in the sidecar.”
Best decision ever. I loved that ride. So much fun and exceeded all expectations. My sidecar companion wasn’t impressed. Poor kid looked absolutely sick. Poor thing. He didn’t enjoy it.
Fortunately, I made it out and to my phone. I was low. So I went to a neighboring cart for fruit and a couple of bottles of water and chilled while waiting to come back to life.
Lesson…Prepare for long lines. Take a smaller purse. Bring candy. Always eat. The rides will be there.
By then it was around 1:00 and I needed a lunch. I was going to Three Broomsticks but there was a long wait. So I mobile ordered with Leaky Cauldron in Universal Orlando.
Guess what? Hogswart Express wasn’t working. Some how I ended up walking a super long way to the other park. Yep. I was a mess when I arrived.
I stopped for the minions ride. Cute.
I pulled out the trusty fan and turned it on while I ate. I chilled there for a few minutes before hitting up Florean Fescue’s for Earl Grey and Lavender ice cream.
I hated Diagon Alley. It was packed and hot! The dragon scared the mess out of me.
I decided to express pass Escape from Gringotts. I stood in line. Met a wonderful young guy whose first question was “which house are you?” He wore full Gryffindor regalia. So sweet and personable. I love the people I meet at the parks. 
We waited and received the “technical difficulties” announcement. Next thing I know we were told the ride was shut down. We were given express passes (which I gave away).
At that point I called it a day. I was over it. Over that park. Over that heat. Over the crowds.
I wanted to cry when I thought about the walk back to the car. In the hot summer sun. The 100 degree summer sun. I cursed each step. Why didn’t I rent a scooter? I’m too posh to hobble back to the car. How much are four strapping young men to carry me back to the Iconic Ioniq. Every step felt like I had a small child clinging to my ankles.
After one hundred hours of walking I made it. I sat in the car blasting the a/c for ten minutes. In essence negating all the energy effectiveness.
I felt Mickey Mouse hid behind a palm tree and laughed at me. That’s what I get for being disloyal.
I’ll come back with pictures and video.
not sure if that was the chicken or the egg
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