We’re leaving for Florida a week from tomorrow. I should be over the moon, but yesterday (and the buildup to yesterday) was so stressful and lousy that I just feel numb today.
Backstory: my mom died of cancer last March and that’s the root of my recently-developed anxiety. I’m constantly worried about things going wrong and I’m terrified of anything happening to anyone else I love. And every time I get even mildly sick, it sends me into a panic. Watching/reading the news is off limits.
Planning this trip has given me something to do for the last 150+ days and I’ve been counting down for months, unable to wait until the trip finally came. I’m going with some of my sisters and we’ve chatted about the trip every day since Christmas, except for the last few days I haven’t sent my usual countdown reminder. I know they’re going through their own process of grieving and I wanted this to be a trip where we could all cry and heal and also have fun and forget the outside world. I want to look forward to it with them. But it’s next weekend and I feel almost nothing. The thought has even crossed my mind to cancel.
Does this happen to anyone else out there? Is it the excitement that triggers the anxiety? Is it realizing that you have so much to do before the trip that makes you shut down?
Any help is much appreciated