As a mom of a couple neurodivergent kids, and dx as ND late in life myself, this post hit me hard. I’m much more of a lurker here in the forum, but I felt drawn to share my perspective, which has absolutely shifted over time in part due to other people sharing their own experiences.
I was brought up to make myself fit in the “real world”, look pretty darn functional from the outside (as value laden as that is; we have worth regardless of our level of function), and it takes a toll. (See: Understanding autistic burnout).
I teach my kids (and am practicing myself) all sorts of strategies to get through school/life/the day without unnecessary overwhelm/fatigue. That actually includes things like avoiding lines if possible (TSA precheck, hitting the supermarket at off times, signing up for things in advance), essentially, pacing, regulating, and finding accommodations to avoid overwhelm when possible to then be able to handle the lines we can’t skip, or whatever other unavoidable stressful/overwhelming situations we might encounter. Available/accessible strategies are going to vary person to person, but they do actually exist in the real world (and if they don’t, it’s time to take a look at the ableist conditions setting that up; if my kid was in a wheelchair I wouldn’t teach them to always bum scoot up the stairs because “there won’t be ramps in the real world”). I absolutely challenge my kids, and support their continued growth (and ability to do hard things); I also teach them to understand themselves and their capacity and needs.
I know their might be an argument here to “just get genie+”; that might work for some, but still comes with its own set of stressors that might not work for everyone.
Also, as others have mentioned, Disney is not “the real world”! It is an overwhelming, loud, exciting, bright, busy place, outside of a child’s regular routine and strategies. And even if a lot of the stimulation is positive, it is still so much more than usual. If I go as an adult, I choose to go and can pace/regulate as I need, but my kids, as much they want to be there, don’t get that same element of choice/control, and haven’t developed their strategies as much as I have. So just like my 6 yr old may have ridden in a stroller at WDW, when they hadn’t touched one in 3 years at home, they might also need access to extra supports to deal with the stimulation. We can use all of the strategies/tools/coping mechanisms/rest breaks/meds that we have access to, and still benefit from that extra support to have a good experience, and be able to handle the other lines/waiting/excitement/challenges. And believe me, we’ve tried without DAS. POVs like the one in this post had us struggling through one visit because I was worried we didn’t “deserve” DAS, and needed to struggle through. So if you see my kid looking like they don’t need DAS, it’s because we’re using it right (for us), and it’s helping us make it through the day.
I love that DAS isn’t diagnosis based. Any person with any diagnosis could need DAS or take advantage of it. I have one kid who doesn’t need it, who can use their strategies and tools, add in a few rest breaks, and they have the capacity to make it through even a Disney day. The other needs that extra support, or it’s just too much. One thing I’ll agree with OP about is, if you don’t need it, don’t get it. But if I see you in line, I’ll think, “hey, I don’t know their story/needs, glad they’re doing what works for them!”.
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