We did the bribery with treats thing, but one 3/4 day at AK we overlooked the fact that by the end of the day, the little one had only ridden one ride (she had seen 3 or 4 shows / other attractions). She was not super happy about that day, but we did eventually make it up to her.
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As others have mentioned we take DD3 to get a treat or “go shopping with Daddy” when DD5 is on the big rides. DD3 really loves the playground by Splash Mountain, so that one isn’t even an issue. I use it as my time to go get all of the special snacks I want and the bonus is that I only have to share with DD3. 
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Yes! That playground is a godsend. We left my mom with our DS2 while everyone else rode BTMRR and Splash, and he still didn’t want to leave after an hour of playing there.
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Right?! DD5 gets mad that she doesn’t have as much time to play there since she’s riding the big rides. 
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Sometimes I wonder why we spend $1000s on Disney when they’re just as content playing on slides and blowing bubbles 
But yet here we are!
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And going to the pool! Seriously!
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On a related note, if DS3 is 39" and is wearing shoes that gets him to just a hair under 40", will the CMs let him ride? I know this is a safety thing so I figure they are really strict on it.
Not if he is a hair under, no. If he actually meets it with shoes, he’s fine.
No, they are strict about this. And if a kid is borderline, you need to explain to them that it is possible they will make it on some rides, but not others.
I see two different issues here. Being “disappointed”, as indicated in the thread title, and “not handling well”.
The first is a normal emotion. Nothing wrong with it, and it doesn’t even mean you have to do anything about it other than help them walk through those feelings. We experience disappointments in life all the time, so using the opportunity to talk about that feeling and what to do with it is a great parenting opportunity.
But if a child doesn’t handle it well, it becomes an opportunity for parental correction/teaching. I’m not a fan of necessarily trying to make things “fair” for everyone. Instead, even at a young age, it is important to recognize that there will be times that things seem unfair, but we have to just move on. I don’t see necessarily rewarding a child for not being able to go on a ride that an older sibling goes on is a good idea. I don’t think it is wrong, but I also feel it can start to teach the wrong message. Rather than teaching a child to learn to accept disappointments and “unfairness,” it MIGHT teach them that any time they seen unfairness, that the “world” (aka, parents) owes them something in return.
It is a balancing act. I do think that setting expectations is part of that.
“John, when we get there, we will go on a lot of rides that everyone can ride, but you aren’t tall enough yet for some things but your brother is. So, you and Mommy will get to wait together while your brother and I ride some of those things. One day, when you’re older, you’ll get to ride them as well.”
Of course, my wording there is merely illustrative. It kind of depends on the age appropriateness. A “just turned 3” and “almost 4” child are very different, developmentally.
Having said all of that, I also think that there is something to be said in deciding to forego SOME of the bigger rides as a family and focus on the rides you can do as a family. But I also believe that a three year old will not have any lasting memories of the trip other than what they look back on in photos, so dealing with a little disappointment will have no long term effect. This means that yes, indeed, the trip should be just as much (or more!) about what the adults want as what the children want. And yet, I can’t help but recognize that as I’ve grown older, I start to find more pleasure in watching my own kids have a good time than I necessarily get in riding Tower of Terror, etc.
It is all balance. Just think about the long-term learning opportunities moreso than the short-term “making them happy”.
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I tend to agree with this in everyday life, but Disney is meant to be a magical place. The happiest place on earth. For our family, there are enough teaching moments the other 360 days of the year, that I feel okay letting those moments pass us by while we all try to enjoy ourselves. Including us as parents. I would rather enjoy a treat with my kiddo than have a life discussion in the middle of Magic Kingdom.
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This is how we’ve operated. While mom and dad have taken turns on some special ones (EE) we normally just have only one parent go on “big” and we predominately focus on family rides. Caveat is we do go every few years.
HMMMMM. I misunderstood.
So actually - I guess mine is another way. 
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But we did skip some altogether until we could all do together one day. Then we had more kids and it got unbalanced again.
I get that. Although, Disney presents learning opportunities in ways that perhaps you won’t otherwise encounter in the “real world”. So, I wouldn’t shy away from them just because it is Disney.
Again, to me it is one thing to deal with disappointment. Another if it really is “not handling it well”.
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I meant to also quote this. Absolutely this.
I’d never go back to WDW if it weren’t for my kids anticipated joy.
That is an issue, for sure. We have a significant gap between child 4 and 5. Six years. So we definitely do NOT skip things just because our youngest can’t ride them. But we are sure to include things that the youngest CAN do. Sometimes that means opportunities for him to ride something with his eldest sibling, etc.
But sometimes it just means going, “Oh. Bummer. You can’t ride this yet. You’re not tall enough. But we can stand here and watch your brothers ride it!” (At Disney, it is harder to do that, since most rides you can’t actually watch them.) Sometimes it just means, “While they ride Space Mountain, we’ll go ride People Mover again.”
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Truth be told we didn’t have a lot of problems with this at WDW. Our first four were born every two years - first two boys and then two girls. In each “set” the younger one was close in size to the older one and we never really saw a gap in who could ride when. NOW - at our local amusement park we ran into it a LOT as we had seasons passes. We had lots of gnashing if teeth over they years. Sometimes we’d just watch the bigger ones, other times we’d take them to another ride.
Child 5 came after a four year gap and then another three year gap to number 6. Number 6 is 47” right now and 48” is the cut off for bigger rides at our park. This summer has been hard for her to watch number 5 on big rides, but her older siblings please her at other opportunities (“Hey, I’ll take you on the bumper cars next!”) and it is a new kind of special.
Yes! That’s an awesome proud parent moment!
This is what I’ve always loved about WDW. They do a great job of making most things accessible to everyone. Even Expedition Everest and Tower of Terror my kids at six were able to ride.
Paul - I would supplement my earlier reply in that at the end of the day, you know your kids better than any of us. So, if you think it’s going to create issues with DS3, the kids first WDW trip may not be the best place to experiment. DS4 will have a great time whether or not he gets to go on certain rides.
Maybe there is an afternoon where the 2 younger kids will be napping at the resort and you can take DS4 to a park for a couple of the height requirement rides? I know my DD4 will need a break most days, but I think she could handle 1 day towards the end of the trip without a break if we are not out late the night before.
If they know about the trip— maybe the younger one can pick out things they are excited. So even older rides big kid ride they know they get to ride something they were excited for— just an idea. I’m entering this stage with my kids and I try to balance it. I want the older one to get to experience new things cause their older -hooray! And for the younger one to know that they will someday too.
It’s certainly a grateful one! It means I don’t have to ride as much as I used to. (I’m rapidly losing my ride stamina.)