I’ll ignore the plastic spoon for now, but you drank from the side? I can imagine it sticking and then coming out suddenly. Kind of like getting ketchup out of a bottle, for those of us old enough to remember that.
1 Like
I am currently designing a device to solve all these problems. I’ll provide a link to Kickstarter so you can support it.
It will feature a straw, made from highly polished rhino horn, attached to a headcage that protects the user in the event of a fall. Optional clip on gloves, made from soft fur taken from the ears of tiger cubs, keeps the user’s hands toasty warm when drinking iced beverages.
All the materials are 100% natural and sourced from developing countries. The device will be made by locals, who will be paid 50% more per hour than other western-based businesses currently pay. So $1.50 a day.
It will be available to purchase online for $39.99+tax, or in the parks for $79.99+tax and tip.
1 Like
You had me at 100% natural.
1 Like
This is core to our mission as a company. The rhinos and tiger cubs will be shot and killed using bamboo darts soaked in poison taken from tree frogs.
The tree frogs will be captured humanely by chopping down the trees they live in. (We are looking into setting fire to the trees to force the frogs to jump off. This may be a cheaper option.)
1 Like
Can the head cage include mickey ears?
1 Like
This is a must. I can’t be seen at Disney wearing this straw with ears.
Yes. For an additional $19.99 ($39.99 in park).
They will be fashioned from the actual ears of mice. These mice, to be specific.
1 Like
Those are awfully small. Will you attach lots of them together to make just one ear?
The process is tremendously efficient. It takes 130 mice to produce each finished Mickey ear.
The mice ears are cut off using ivory scissors. The carcasses are then fed to the tree frogs prior to the poison being removed for the making of the darts.
That’s fine, as long as you don’t re-use the ivory scissors. They tend to get stained/dull after one use. I recommend a new pair each time.
We are currently negotiating the use of panda ears with the Chinese government. The deal is likely to include free labour from Chinese re-education camps. It’s win:win.
We’re trying to train the rhinos to bite the ears off, but their accuracy isn’t great so far.
Well, keep at it. The labor savings could be as much as $0.02 per helmet!
I did this with a plastic Popsicle stick once. It was not a pretty injury.
1 Like
The metal straws come in two types: straight and bent. I’m wondering if the bent ones are safer.
(The markings at the bend are just etchings. They don’t actually bend more or less than they already are.)
I have the bent ones and they work well.
Have you jabbed one into your mouth to assess injury level? If not, could you now do so, please.
Also, they are less easy to clean because the brush doesn’t bend round the corner.
C’mon, this is just ridiculous! Just one data point is not enough, it could be an anomaly. She needs to jab herself with ALL of her straws and report on all of them.
3 Likes
That’s a hard no. I’m still scarred from the plastic Popsicle stick debacle. I imagine if you fell foward with the bent one in your mouth, it would be more of a weird gagging situation, less injury. I don’t plan on finding out. I’m going straw-less.
1 Like